


All Hail the Underdogs

by wildfrancium



Series: Renegades [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Future Fic, Kids, M/M, Past Abuse, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-10-13 05:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10507602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildfrancium/pseuds/wildfrancium
Summary: Ten years after Neil Josten becomes Neil Josten, life is full of Exy and Andrew. And then they decide to try fostering a kid.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am very anxious about posting this story as there is so much post canon information out there and I decided to ignore some of that and have Neil and Andrew pull it together enough to have a kid. Because with everything there's canon you love and then canon you're just meh about. So I hope people enjoy and I hope I do the characters justice.

For some, ten years was a long time. For others, it was short. And for the rest time was hard to grasp. Passing fast in a blur or moving so slow the hours and minutes felt as if they’d taken years.

Over time, things changed. People changed. Surroundings changed. And other parts were constant. The rush of the game. The name on the jersey. The person across the bed every morning.

Neil Josten had permanently been Neil Josten for, give or take a few weeks, ten years. They day wasn’t remembered, but the time of year always brought him peace. Another year of everything being just the way he wanted it to be. A career in the game he loved. Andrew with him every step of the way. And no running. No need to run. Not even thoughts of running anymore.

In the past ten years, his fifth year was the hardest. His family was spread out achieving their goals and dreams while he had to continue to climb. Andrew was signed to a professional team after graduation. Same with Kevin who also made Court. And spending the summer in the stands watching them play had nearly driven Neil off a cliff. He was chomping at the bit to be out there. College wasn’t cutting it anymore.

The media was a constant swirl of could the Foxes bring home a fifth championship title now that there was only one original member left? The question irritated Neil in a way he didn’t expect to be bothered. A lot of it rode on Kevin and Andrew leaving as if the Foxes were now weaker. They were, but they weren’t out of the running yet.

His fifth year had been rough, so was the season, but they won the championship. USC’s coach had pulled Neil off to the side after the game to tell him he was going to miss everything he’d done as captain and jokingly said that he hoped Neil graduating would mean USC could win once again. Neil had thanked him, but told him the Foxes were going to keep at it with everything they had.

Most of Neil’s family had made it. Neil had only counted on Andrew being there, but for once the friends and family section was bursting with Neil’s family. Dan and Matt cheered with enough enthusiasm for the entire stadium. Matt had their six month old strapped to his chest wearing the largest pair of orange headphones Neil had ever seen.

Katelyn gladly accepted Nicky’s invitation to join them so she could cheer on her Vixen’s while Aaron sat contently next to her. Both were so married to their jobs that it shocked everyone that they’d came. They all knew Allison was coming since she bragged about it in various interviews, which shocked half the fashion industry as they were unaware that she’d played such a violent game and liked it.

Renee couldn’t make it, but she sent Neil a sweet letter wishing him good luck and if they won she wanted him to send her a copy of the game.

Kevin showed up with Nicky and Andrew in the locker room before the game. Nicky gushed about how he wished he was out there, but was also glad he didn’t have to go against USC again. Kevin said Thea was in the crowd already and he had only show up to tell Neil not to blow it because a lot of coaches were there to observe. Andrew said nothing, just sat in his old spot on the couch until it was time for them to leave and Neil to get ready.

The hard fought game was won by one point scored by Neil in the last three minutes.

 

After graduation, it should have been easier, but it wasn’t. Neil and Andrew were on different professional teams, and Neil had made Court. Coaches were getting annoyed with Andrew, so he was bouncing from team to team. Neil had to return to Castle Evermore which brought about months of nightmares and panic attacks.

It subsided as time went on. His love of the game was able to push out the worst of the memories and day after day he was shown that it was different now. That he was free now. That it was where he wanted to be now.

Eight years after Neil Josten became Neil Josten, his coach took a risk and signed Andrew to his professional team. He was too good a goalie to pass up, and he hoped being on a team with Neil would help.

It did.

And it helped enough that Court wanted Andrew to play with them in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.

 

It had been announced that Exy would debut in the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo, Japan, after the conclusion of the Rio Summer Games. Neil had been overwhelmed by the announcement for various reasons. Part of it brought excitement, but with the announcement brought a resurgence of Riko and by proxy, Neil and Kevin’s pasts. The media and new fans were all over the dark times many had tried to forget.

Being in Tokyo was crazy. If Neil didn’t have Andrew there, he wasn’t sure he’d have made it through alive. The stress alone was unlike anything Neil had ever dealt with. The city was alive with an energy that vaguely reminded Neil of Nicky.

The first Court match against Japan, before the Olympics, had Neil worried they’d been too similar to the Raven’s since the Raven’s once famed coach was Japanese and a creator of Exy. Neil was pleasantly surprised that they weren’t. They reminded Neil more of USC. It was Australia’s team that was a little too similar to the old Raven’s.

But the Olympics. Before the trip, Neil and Andrew had worked their way through learning basic Japanese which made their entire trip better. Kevin tagged along with them when they went out to crazy bars and clubs. Exy players from other teams flocked to Kevin though and sometimes it was a bit overwhelming.

Andrew didn’t go to the opening ceremony which surprised no one. And the USA Exy team clawed their way into the finals. Wymack had made it to Japan just in time for the last two games. Everyone else bombarded Neil with texts and phone calls and demands for pictures and souvenirs.

Dan and Matt were committed to watching each game live and then again later with their kids when it was broadcast in the United States. Nicky and Erik were partying it up hard in Germany with tons of other Exy fans even after Germany was eliminated in the third game. Allison told Neil where he should go shopping. She also said not to come back without a gold medal. Neil asked her if she really thought Kevin would allow that.

Renee had written weeks before they left and included a private letter for Andrew. Aaron said he had staff update him on the score while he worked. He was on his way to being a neurosurgeon. Abby sent her wishes with Wymack.

All of it made Neil happier than he ever thought he could be. Standing in Andrew’s room the night before the final game had been quiet. Andrew stood looking out the window at the nights’ sky smoking and Neil lay on his back on the bed. The suite was set up similar to their dorm room years ago. The door opened to a small kitchenette, there was a bathroom and sitting area, and a bedroom. The difference was it was about ten times smaller. For once Neil was grateful neither him nor Andrew was that big or they’d be struggling.

The sex that night was great and everything in Neil seemed to settle. His nerves were gone and his mind at peace. At 27 this was only the beginning. It was still the beginning of all the adventures to come. All the places he’d go with Andrew right behind him.

“I’m excited to get back on the court when we get home,” Neil whispered, starring into Andrew’s eyes. Andrew stared back for a long moment before muttering junkie and turning off the light so they could sleep.

After winning gold thanks to Kevin’s last minute goal against Canada, Kevin’s title as Best Exy Player in the World only solidified. Neil was happy for him. From watching Kevin struggle to relearn playing with his left hand, to watching him now switch between left and right effortlessly wasn’t anything less than inspiring.

They celebrated harder than they had in years.

 

After the Olympics, everything stopped feeling so rushed. It was spring, meaning everything was gearing up for the next seasons of professional and international Exy, but time no longer felt like it was rushing past Neil. He’d never had so much time, but he also wasn’t used to it going so quickly. He liked the quiet days him and Andrew would spend in their home. Or going for rides to who knew where. Most of their life still revolved around Exy, but there were other aspects too. Like their cats. And their vacations. And their friends and their children.

And change.

It was before the Olympics when Andrew told Neil he wanted him to come with during his Skype session with Betsy. They still talked often. Neil left the house during those times to give Andrew some privacy. Even after five years of mandatory sessions with Bee, Neil and her weren’t close. He’d opened up minimally, and she listened intently, never pushing him further.

But Neil wasn’t sure how he was supposed to react to Andrew wanting him there. He figured there was something important to discuss, but he for the life of him couldn’t figure out what it could be.

There was no time to be anxious or worry though because the session started the moment Neil said yes.

Betsy greeted them both and explained she was there to help Andrew put things into words. Andrew silently took Neil’s hand and laced their fingers together. That was the only sign Neil got that this was difficult for Andrew.

“I wanted to ask you, Neil, if you ever considered adopting or fostering children?” Betsy asked completely blindsiding Neil. He hadn’t ever thought about children. He loved all his friends’ children, but that was about the extent of his children thoughts.

He turned to Andrew who looked bored. He’d rested his chin in the palm of his free hand.

“Andrew and I have discussed it at length over the years,” Betsy went on as Neil tried to find his words. “Recently we’ve been discussing that he’d be open to try fostering a child.”

“A child,” Neil repeated. His mind was going a mile a minute from replaying his childhood to going through what he knew about Andrew’s to the realization that they weren’t any of those people.

“Well it’s a lot to think about,” Neil started, voice a little shaky, “but…” he trailed off glancing at Andrew briefly. “If Andrew wants to then I want to,” Neil said firmly. Betsy smiled.

“I’d like you to think it over and perhaps discuss it with each other. I’m always here to discuss it more and would get you in touch with people I know to help you through the process. I’ve told Andrew that while your pasts are a bit rough, there’s nothing about your current situation that would raise any flags. I’ve discussed, at length, the mental toll and how it could bring up bad thoughts or memories, but I and others would always be here to help,” Betsy explained.

Neil looked at Andrew again. His expression hadn’t changed, but his eyes were on Betsy. “I guess I honestly don’t know what fostering a kid would even be like?” Neil said at last. He had no parenting skills that he knew of and didn’t exactly have the best role models. He was pretty sure he knew how to keep a kid alive but that was about it.

Betsy walked them through the steps. Through a lot of steps. She talked while they listened for a good half hour.

“I know with your focus on the Olympics and the start of the professional season coming up, it’s a lot to stop and think about, but Andrew has expressed to me that it is something he would like to discuss with you if you’re open to it,” Betsy finished. Neil nodded. He turned to Andrew, who was now looking at him.

“I guess let’s talk about it then,” Neil said and hoped they wouldn’t have to do it in front of Betsy. While he was thankful for her help, he’d rather do their discussions privately. He wanted to hear what Andrew thought and it was always easier for Neil to open up when it was just Andrew.

“Thanks Bee,” Andrew said and shut off the laptop. He stood up, pulling his hand from Neil’s, but motioned for Neil to follow. Neil followed him onto the deck where Andrew lit two cigarettes and handed one to Neil.

“Do you think we could do this?” Neil asked. In his mind, they were pretty fucked up and even though every day they moved further from the most fucked up time in their lives, they were still pretty damaged.

“Yes,” Andrew said. Neil nodded. Andrew’s yes was probably the most solid and consistent thing in their lives. He didn’t throw the word around carelessly.

“So, you’ll marry me?” Neil asked. Betsy had said they’d have to get legally married to even start the process.

“Get that stupid smile off your face,” Andrew told him. Neil hadn’t even realized he’d been smiling.

“Yes or no, Andrew,” Neil asked dropping his cigarette to the ground and grinding it out with the toe of his shoe.

“Yes,” he said.

 

They were married before they left for Tokyo. Dan and Matt were their witnesses. Nicky wanted to be there, but work didn’t allow it. Neil could tell Andrew was glad Nicky wasn’t there to make it into some kind of spectacle.

Dan and Matt were respectful of the pair. They were quiet during the short legal proceedings. Neil didn’t even have to explain why they decided to do it. The finished the day with drinks at Neil and Andrew’s house. Andrew sat quietly while the three talked about the upcoming Olympics and how the professional Exy season was panning out.

 

Neil and Andrew talked about a kid a few more times and Neil sat in with Andrew and Betsy twice more before the Olympics.

But then they didn’t discuss it again until late in the fall.

“It won’t be just us anymore,” Neil pointed out one night.

“It’ll always be just us,” Andrew told him. Neil rolled his eyes.

“You know what I mean,” Neil said laying back. “Sex is going to take a back seat.”

“It’s called a lock,” Andrew said. Neil said nothing. Andrew pushed up on his elbow and leaned over Neil. Neil stared up at him.

“I’m anxious,” Neil said quietly and lay his hand over Andrew’s heart. He leaned down to press a kiss to Neil’s lips. He knew Andrew wouldn’t admit he was afraid too, but Betsy had made it apparent that he was at least nervous.

Neil hummed happily as he kissed Andrew back. They were survivors. The years had worn away a lot of their rough edges, but there was underlying fear that never seemed to leave either of them alone.

He carded his fingers through Andrew’s hair, pulling his face closer. He’d call the case worker in the morning. She was a friend of Bee’s and had agreed to help them if they chose to go ahead with everything. Neil had thought it’d take them longer to discuss, but the high of the Olympics had made them feel invincible. Their forward trajectory was up. Up and up and beyond any dreams Neil had ever dreamed.

A kid would be placed in their care for nine months. They’d agreed that they could handle that even during their busy Exy summer. The school was near their house and Matt and Dan lived close enough that they could help in an emergency.

Not that any of the Foxes knew what they were doing yet. Neil said he’d tell everyone when it was for sure happening. Besides, everyone was preoccupied by Kevin’s daughter who was set to be born at the end of December.

 

At the end of May, they were matched with a kid. Ten years of being Neil Josten lead Neil Josten to winning numerous championships, a gold medal from the Olympics, several vacations, the love of his life, two cats, and now a kid.

Their case worker, Mrs. Maria Fuentes, brought them into her office to go over the child. Andrew was a shadow at Neil’s side, but held Neil’s hand as Mrs. Fuentes went through the file.

“We’ve chosen Lily Armor age 6 to be placed in your care,” she started. “She handed them a photo of a light skinned girl with the biggest brown eyes Neil had ever seen. Her curly brown hair was tied in a bun on top of her head and she wasn’t smiling at the camera. “She was removed from her home at age 3 after her mother poured a pot of boiling water on her. Her mother, Kelly Armor, white, age 24, was bi polar and died two years ago. Father, is Puerto Rican, but his name was removed from the birth certificate and her mother never provided a name.”

It was a lot to take in. When Mrs. Fuentes mentioned the water, Andrew’s grip on Neil’s hand had tightened. The thought made Neil nauseous. Neil rubbed his thumb over Andrew’s knuckles to soothe both Andrew and himself.

“Lily is finishing up kindergarten. She is very good at reading and math. Her favorite color is red and she really likes cats,” Mrs. Fuentes smiled. “As far as medical history, she’s up to date on shots. There are healed burns on about 60% of her lower body. She currently sees a therapist for adjusting and selective mutism. She talks to her current foster family, but they’ve had a lot of trouble getting her to speak at school. The only times she has cried while with her current foster family was during a bad thunderstorm.”

Neil desperately wanted to lighten the mood by saying she’d fit right in, but decided against it.

“When can we meet her?” Andrew asked, nearly shocking Neil out of his seat.

“We can do tomorrow or Sunday if you want to meet her before Wednesday,” Mrs. Fuentes said.

“Tomorrow,” Andrew said flatly. She nodded typing something on her computer.

“Monday I’ll be over for a final assessment of your house if that is still okay?” she asked. Neil nodded. The season officially started on Monday for professional Exy, but the house visit was in the morning. Neither of them wanted to announce that they were fostering a kid, but Neil had explained the situation to both his coaches. Both said it was no problem for them to bring a kid with as plenty of other players did.

“Well then, there’s some paper work, but then we are ready to go,” Mrs. Fuentes said with a large smile.

As they drove home, Neil sent a mass text to everyone. Even Wymack and Abby. The responses came flooding in making Neil grin.

“Hey,” he said softly. Andrew grunted at him. “I’m proud of us,” he said, Andrew shot him an uninterested look that made Neil laugh. “And I can’t wait to teach her Exy.”

“Junkie,” Andrew muttered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having so much fun writing this fic, so enjoy!

Neil, Andrew, Mrs. Fuentes, and Lily all sat silently in a small room with an oversized table and plastic chairs. It felt very clinical which made Neil anxious. No one else seemed to care though. On the ride over, neither of them spoke. Andrew hadn’t said much regarding Lily, but Neil could tell he was thinking about it a lot. Neil would catch Andrew standing in the doorway of their spare bedroom that had been outfitted for Lily.

Neil let Andrew deal with it in his own way. He told Neil he knew how it felt to go to a new place and what made it good and what made it bad. He never said he wanted Lily to like them, but his actions made it obvious. He picked out a new comforter with tiny red strawberries on it. He bought a night light. He picked out a step stool for the bathroom and new bath towels. Neil didn’t question any of it.

Instead, Neil focused on keeping their friends satisfied. Dan and Matt were eager to get together once Lily was settled in. Allison gave Neil tips about what not to do. Like don’t let Andrew just feed her ice cream. Nicky was over excited as he was with everything. It was overwhelming and made Neil overthink. He believed he and Andrew would be fine. Their schedules were busy, but that was it. Andrew tended to show the emotional range of a rock, but if Betsy or Mrs. Fuentes thought he was anything less than capable they wouldn’t be doing this.

Neil just had to reassure himself that no matter what happened his wasn’t going to magically turn into his parents. He was going to be fine.

 

Lily looked from Neil to Andrew to Neil with her big brown eyes. Her face was neutral, but Neil could see the slight curiosity in her eyes as she stared at Neil’s face.

“I’m Neil Josten,” he said to her. “And this is Andrew Minyard. We’re excited to have you come stay with us,” Neil said hoping he sounded sincere. Andrew grunted, face equally as neutral. He told Neil not to be too exuberant. Neil told him he didn’t think he’d ever been exuberant, but Andrew just rolled his eyes and said the more a parent gushed, the more of a lie they ended up being.

Neil told Andrew they weren’t liars.

Andrew just raised an eyebrow at Neil.

Lily turned her attention to Andrew. Neil watched them. They weren’t exactly having a staring contest, but they were definitely sizing each other up.

“How about we all do some drawing?” Mrs. Fuentes asked, going to a shelf to get crayons and colored paper. Neil wondered if they were doing okay.

It didn’t feel like they were.

But Lily took a sheet of paper and so did Neil. “Do you like drawing, Lily?” Neil asked, watching her sift through the crayon box. She nodded, but didn’t look up from her paper. “I like drawing too. Andrew doesn’t though because he’s bad at drawing,” Neil teased. He felt Andrew’s eyes flick over to glare at him. He ignored Andrew to focus on his paper.

“Have you heard of the sport Exy?” Neil asked her. She looked up at him and shook her head no. “Well, it’s a sport that Andrew and I do for our job. I will teach you if you want to learn,” Neil said. Andrew sighed next to him and Neil could practically feel his eye roll. He grinned. “It’s a lot of fun and a lot of our friends play too. I think you’d like it,” Neil continued. “Do you play any sports?”

Lily shook her head.

“Well I think you would like it,” Neil told her. She looked over at Andrew. Maybe they were silently communicating or something.

Neil continued to ask yes or no questions. It was harder than he thought it would be, but it also went just as he expected it to.

When there were only about fifteen minutes left, Andrew stood up. Neil thought he was going to the bathroom, but he pulled his chair next to Lily and started drawing something on her paper. She didn’t even flinch, just moved her hand so that he had room. Neil smiled to himself.

It reminded him of both times they went to the animal shelter. Andrew spent a few minutes looking around and then told an employee to put the cat in a box so he could take it home.

Neil didn’t see what Andrew and Lily were drawing, but seeing them interact made him relax. He watched them until it was time for Lily to go. She folded her paper and looked from Neil to Andrew. Andrew nodded once and she got up to follow Mrs. Fuentes out.

 

“You talk a lot,” Andrew said, sliding into the driver’s seat after a cigarette.

“And that’s new to you?” Neil asked. Andrew started the engine. “I thought I was doing a good job.”

“You did,” Andrew said after a beat. Neil was relieved to hear that. “A lot of foster parents talk too much and say what they think is the right thing to say.”

“I was just asking questions.”

“Yeah, pulling them out of your ass instead of being,” Andrew trailed off and gestured with his hand.

“Annoying?” Neil guessed and Andrew scowled.

“You’re always annoying,” he said, but Neil knew what he meant. Parents sold themselves to the system so they’d be approved and get a nice government check. And Andrew had watched parents sell themselves to his case worker only to let him down in the end.

“She’s going to have a good time with us,” Neil said. Andrew grunted at him, actually annoyed, and Neil smiled.

When they reached their house, Andrew threatened to lock him out if he didn’t get that stupid smile off his face.

 

When Wednesday arrived, Neil was nervous. This was it. They actually had to take care of a child. Neil felt like he couldn’t be any less prepared, even though they were prepared.

Andrew sat neutrally on the couch while the TV was on, but Neil felt too agitated to sit. He stared at his freshmen year team photo with the Foxes. Neil had framed all their team photos, but Andrew said he could only hang the ones he was in. He didn’t want his face hanging up. Neil said that was too bad since a lot of their team photos included both of them.

He looked like such a baby in the first picture. They all did. The kid in the picture was someone Neil barely knew anymore. The desire to run was a faded memory. The slow passage of time was something he’d grown used to. Every one knowing his name was old news now. His mothers’ voice was a whisper in the back of his mind that he could barely make out.

A knock at the front door jostled Neil out of his thoughts. He opened it to Mrs. Fuentes and Lily. She had two suitcases and a back pack.

“Welcome,” Neil greeted, moving out of the way to let them in. “Lily you can put your shoes over here,” Neil said pointing to a plastic mat that was a mess of shoes. She took off her shoes carefully and placed them in an empty space. She then walked into the house, eyes wide.

Their home was modest considering how much they made. They didn’t need anything lavish especially since they travelled a lot for Exy. The front door opened into the living room which was an oversized couch and large TV. There was a fire place that they didn’t really use and then Neil’s Exy shrine. Andrew always grumbled when Neil decided to rearrange the photos and plaques and gold medals.

The living room lead to the kitchen which had a breakfast bar and then there was a small dining area to the side. Wide windows looked out onto the deck and into the yard. There was also a small bathroom near the stairs. Upstairs were three bedrooms and two bathrooms. The two extra rooms had been for guests. They didn’t have people stay over often, but after living in the house for two years, Andrew had accepted that sometimes their friends would come over.

“Why don’t we show you your bedroom?” Neil asked as Lily continued around the house. Andrew got off the couch when Neil suggested going upstairs, and Lily followed Andrew. Neil followed with her suitcases.

“Our bedroom is at the end of the hall,” Neil said when Andrew stopped at the first door and pushed it open. “This is your room.”

She walked in slowly and went to sit on the bed. She bounced where she sat. Neil put her suitcases by the dresser.

“Do you want help unpacking?” he asked, but she shook her head. “Do you want us to stay or do you want some time alone?” Neil wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen next and Andrew offered no help.

Lily slipped off the bed and walked around the room. She opened the closet and then shut it to look at herself in the mirror. She looked over at Neil and then back at her reflection. Then she walked back into the hall way. Andrew moved to another door and opened up the bathroom.

“We have new towels hanging up for you and everything you need in the tub,” Neil explained. She nodded. She went back into the hall and looked down at their door. Neil looked at Andrew, but his expression was blank. He didn’t like other people in their room, but this felt like an exception.

So, Neil showed her the other spare room and then opened the door to their room. A king sized bed was the main draw. A TV sat on the large dressed. There were bookcases near the closet that were filled with Exy books and magazines. Souvenirs they’d picked up were on the shelves with the books or on Neil’s bedside table with the picture of him and Andrew from his freshman year.

Andrew constantly told Neil he hated the picture.

There was a plant, the remote, and a bottle of water on Andrew’s table. Lily looked around, but didn’t touch anything. She peeked into the master bathroom which was probably the most luxurious part of the house with a double walk in shower and a bathtub that could easily fit three grown men.

When they left the bedroom, Lily went back into her bathroom and shut the door. “We will be downstairs, Lily,” Neil called, following Andrew down.

At the bottom of the stairs, Neil took a deep breath. He felt tired and it was still early. Lily not talking didn’t bother him, but it did make things harder. He hoped she’d be okay when they went to practice later.

Neil found Andrew in the kitchen leaning against the counter, staring off into space. “I think Lily likes you better than me,” Neil admitted. Andrew shrugged. One of their cats had been roused and was wrapping their tail around Andrew’s legs. Neil crowded against Andrew for a quick kiss, feeling Andrew relax into him.

Neil opened the fridge as Lily appeared in the kitchen as quiet as Andrew. Neil smiled at her. “Are you hungry?” he asked even though it was early for lunch. Lily shook her head. “Thirsty?” he asked.

She nodded.

“We have water or raspberry lemonade or orange juice?” Neil listed off. Andrew reached for the raspberry lemonade. Neil assumed Lily had motioned for that one. Andrew poured it into a plastic cup while Lily climbed onto a chair at the breakfast bar.

Neil noticed she was now wearing bright red shorts. She’d been wearing pants when she arrived. Even with just a glance he could see the bad scarring on her thighs and down her left leg.

While she drank her juice, Lily pointed to the gear spread out on the dining room table. Neil had been sorting through their extra and old stuff the night before.

“That’s for Exy. The sport we play. When we have practice later I can explain it more,” Neil said. He’d been practicing his explanation. He’d never had to explain Exy in full to anyone before.

Lily nodded. She then pointed at Sir Fat Cat who was still rubbing against Andrew’s legs. Andrew picked the cat up and put him on the breakfast bar. Which Neil knew probably killed him since he didn’t like cats where his food went, but he held the cat while he sniffed Lily and let her pet him.

Neil turned so that Andrew wouldn’t see him smiling.

 

After lunch, they headed to practice. Seeing a booster seat and a kid in the rearview mirror was a little weird, but Neil kind of liked it. He rattled off rules of Exy while Lily looked out the window and Andrew looked checked out.

Neil took Lily around through the stands to the home benches. His teammates that were already there were happy to meet her. The coach too. She looked at everything with wonder.

Andrew came out, ready for practice, and sat next to Lily while Neil went to change. He tried to be quick, but got distracted by his own thoughts.

“Is that the kid you’re taking care of?” Team Captain, Bruce Flowers, asked Neil as he was heading back out to the court.

“Yeah her name is Lily,” Neil told him.

“Cute kid. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Minyard so calm,” he laughed. Bruce was a nice guy from Penn State and a year older than Andrew. He played defense and was an all around people person. He was tough on the team on the court, but off it, he was friendly and Neil tried hard to return the friendliness. Which paid off because Bruce understood Andrew better through Neil. “Gonna teach her some Exy?”

“If she likes it,” Neil said although he hoped she would.

“If she does, I got a buddy who does some little league. Nothing intense, mostly just working on understanding the rules and hand eye coordination,” Bruce explained. Neil nodded.

“We will talk about it,” Neil said stopping next to the bench. Bruce jogged off onto the court. According to the clock there were three minutes until practice started. “It’s going to be long, but if you need something, just go to coach,” Neil said to Lily and pointed at Coach Barnes. She nodded. They’d watched her repack her backpack with books and coloring before they left.

The coach blew the whistle and Neil stood. He looked at Andrew, who was looking at him. As Andrew passed, he grabbed Neil’s hand once before heading onto the court. Neil smiled. “Okay Lily, we’ll be right back,” he said and headed onto the court.

 

During their break, Neil watched Lily bounce a ball off the wall and try to catch it. She spent a lot of time running after the ball, but looked rather determined. Andrew watched her with a flat expression, but did look very relaxed.

By the end of practice Neil noticed that Lily was standing with her nose pressed to the plexiglass. Someone had gotten her a chair to stand on.

After practice, while Neil talked to a few of their teammates about strategy, he watched Lily run her fingers over Andrew’s racquet and helmet. Neil left Andrew to sit with Lily while he went to change.

“Did you like watching our practice?” Neil asked Lily while they waited for Andrew. She nodded. She held up the ball the coach had allowed her to keep. Even though he knew Neil and Andrew had millions of balls at their house. “We will have to practice together than,” Neil said with a smile. She gave him a tiny smile in return.

Andrew appeared at Neil’s side and Neil helped Lily gather her things.

As they walked out, Neil watched Lily slip her hand into Andrew’s. Neil froze, but Andrew didn’t even flinch, leaving Neil kind of shocked. He held Lily’s hand all the way out to the car and held the door for her. Neil climbed in feeling like he’d fallen into some alternate universe. 4

 

At home, they ate dinner and Andrew pulled out the ice cream moments later. Lily’s face remained neutral, but her eyes lit up as Andrew took out chocolate ice cream and chocolate sauce. Ice cream is what Andrew and Lily had been drawing when they first met. Neil watched as Andrew made two bowls, Neil said he couldn’t eat out of the container while Lily was there, and then slid one across the breakfast bar to Lily. She looked elated as she took a big spoonful.

Neil smiled at Andrew knowingly. Andrew scowled in return.

 

They were in bed and had shared a few heated kisses when Andrew said, “She has tiny hands.”

“What?” Neil asked before realizing that was why Andrew let her hold his hand. “Did she say something to you?” Neil asked sensing Andrew had more to say.

“Yeah,” he said. “She said you talk a lot. I told her to get used to it.”

Neil rolled his eyes. “A kid after your own heart,” he muttered. Andrew pushed up and leaned over Neil and kissed him again.

“She says she likes it though,” he murmured against Neil’s lips. Neil let out a sigh of relief. Andrew kissed him again before laying back down.

“I’m glad you’re getting along,” Neil said honestly. Andrew grunted. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours, but it hadn’t been a disaster. It had been rather nice. And even though Neil didn’t expect the entire nine months to go off without a hitch, a good start was promising.

“If you smile anymore, your face will break,” Andrew told him.

“Nah,” Neil said with a grin. Andrew sighed. Neil settled into his pillow. “Goodnight Andrew,” he whispered.

“Yeah,” Andrew whispered back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having so much fun writing this and I'm glad people like it! Hope you like zoo trips.

Scheduling was a nightmare and Neil was grateful for Clarissa, one of the assistants for the United States national team. Between Court and his professional team, a day off was rare. Tuesdays were the only day he didn’t practice. If there was a game, that was another story. The national team didn’t practice as much in the summer, their heavy pre-season training took its place. Before national games, there’d be practice. But if he had a professional game when he had Court practice, then he went to the game.

Neil stared at the calendar on the refrigerator. There was the opening professional game on Friday and he had to go from there to West Virginia, for the opening Court game against England on Saturday. It bothered him that he was missing proper Court practice before their opening game, but he couldn’t miss the opening professional game.

“The longer you stare at it, the more likely it is that you’ll go blind,” Andrew said, pushing past Neil to open the fridge and take out the milk.

“Is Lily awake?” Neil asked. It was only past 7 on a Tuesday morning, but he’d seen the light on in her room when he got back from his run.

Andrew shrugged, putting bread in the toaster. In the week that Lily had been with them, she always went into her bedroom at 8:30 and usually showed up in the kitchen at 8:30 for breakfast. She liked to shower in the morning. She didn’t like crust on her toast. She liked a lot of jam on her toast.

When they were at practice, she spent a lot of time throwing the ball against the wall or laying on the bench drawing. When they weren’t practicing, Neil and Andrew showed her around town. They went to the park near their house and showed her the school she’d attend in the fall. They went to Andrew’s favorite ice cream shop and the library where Neil insisted that it was okay if she wanted to rent a movie or a book. She didn’t, but they got her a library card anyway and so did Neil.

Tuesday though, they were planning on going to the zoo. It was supposed to be hot, but Lily didn’t seem to notice the heat.

Or she just knew how to properly dress to stay cool.

“Are you excited to go to the zoo, Andrew,” Neil asked, pleased when Andrew scowled at him. The zoo had been their teammate, Angelica Yoons’ idea. She was the oldest player on the team, but one of their best dealers. Angelica was someone Neil considered a friend. She, her wife, and their two kids, lived within walking distance of Neil and Andrew, and they’d been invited over to the Yoon house on a few occasions.

Angelica had told Neil to go to the zoo, saying all kids liked the zoo. He wasn’t sure about it, but Lily had nodded yes when he asked if she’d want to go.

After the zoo, they were taking Lily across town to her therapist appointment. He’d spoken to Kim Bloom on the phone and said it wouldn’t be a problem to take Lily there. He understood a good connection with a therapist was important.

“Do you want to make lunch or should I do it?” Neil asked watching Andrew smear blueberry jam on his toast.

“I’ll do it,” he said licking the extra jam off the knife and then placing it in the sink. Neil got fruit and vegetables out to make a smoothie. He found it was easier to have a smoothie if he was going to be outside all day. Otherwise he felt sick. Andrew said it was because he was fucking old.

As Neil poured the smoothie into two bowls, a large and a small and sprinkled them with granola, Lily appeared in the kitchen. She was dressed in a yellow sundress and her hair was still in the bun from yesterday, but her wispies stuck out like a crown around her head.

“I made you some smoothie to try,” Neil said. She’d shown interest in his smoothie over the weekend. Neil liked the way it made Andrew’s nose wrinkle. “Do you want toast too?”

She nodded as she climbed onto the middle seat at the breakfast bar. Neil put bread in the toaster and passed her the bowl. Andrew had finished eating, but stared out the window.

After breakfast, Neil started the dishwasher while Andrew made lunch for them to take to the zoo. Lily was in the living room with the TV on a cartoon she wasn’t paying attention to. Instead, she was looking at the Exy pictures on Neil’s wall. He saw her looking at the wall numerous times throughout the day.

Lily took an Exy ball with her everywhere now which made Neil happy and Andrew roll his eyes. Neil was ready to go look at gear for kids, but Andrew told him to wait.

 

It was only ten and the day was already promising it be sticky. Andrew still wore black jeans and a black t-shirt and his black bands. Neil opted for shorts, but knew it wouldn’t help much when they were outside. He hoped there were indoor parts at the zoo.

The car ride was silent. The air conditioning blasted while the temperature on the dash steadily climbed. Andrew parked in the crowded lot and Neil went to get their stuff out of the trunk while Andrew opened the car for Lily.

They stood against the car in the shade for a moment. Neil didn’t know if he needed to tell Lily to stay close to them or not. It looked crowded, but she didn’t seem like one to wander off.

Instead he said, “If you want to take pictures, let me know. There’s a camera on my phone.”

Lily nodded. Andrew looked up at Neil for a moment, and then headed towards the entrance. Neil walked next to Lily.

They got a map of the zoo and Neil decided they’d go around clockwise. Andrew looked indifferent staring at nothing in particular while Lily seemed to be looking everywhere at once. Neil just wanted to go inside because his shirt was already sticking to his back.

But they went to the lions first and Lily leaned against the railing looking out over the sleeping animals. Neil and Andrew kept her safely between them and Neil thought people probably assumed Andrew was a body guard or something.

The first indoor exhibit was the gorillas. Most of them were sitting around and eating. Neil was struggling to find the appeal of the zoo. It was loud, crowded, and smelled. But Lily looked mildly interested and wasn’t complaining about the heat like every other kid they passed.

Halfway around the zoo, they stopped to eat at a picnic table that was in the shade. Neil wiped his sweaty face on the hem of his shirt for the hundredth time and passed out their food. He watched Andrew drink from his water bottle. His cheeks were pink and his hair was mussed and sweaty, but he looked relaxed.

“Are you having fun?” Neil asked Lily as he picked at his food. She nodded, eating her lunch. “Have we seen your favorite animal yet?” Neil asked. She shook her head no. Neil tried to remember all the animals they’d seen and what they hadn’t seen yet. It was impossible. All he remembered was the camel that was peeing for a solid ten minutes because some kid next to them was screaming about it.

They continued through the crowded park. Lily looked tired, but shook her head when Neil asked if she wanted to stop. When they reached the Ocean Life exhibit, Lily went up to the large stingray statue and ran her fingers over the bottom part. Neil caught a glimpse of the happiness in her eyes.

“Do you want me to take a picture of you with the stingray?” Neil asked after a moment. Lily stared at him for a moment and then slowly nodded. Neil pulled out his phone. Lily stood under the giant statue with her hands tucked behind her back and her eyes wide.

Neil took a picture and showed it to her.

“Can I show it to my friends?” he asked. She was still looking at the picture. He watched her look to Andrew and then Neil and nod her head. Neil smiled. “Thanks,” he said. He’d send it to his friends later. They’d all been asking for pictures of her.

They spent a lot of time in the dark, cold marine life exhibit. Lily put her hands in the pools where you could touch shells and sea cucumbers. Andrew stood with his arm pressed against Neil. Neil could feel the exhaustion seeping out of his. A day pushing through crowds and randomly being touched by strangers was wearing away at him. Neil had asked if he wanted to go wait in the car, but he just shrugged.

The last stop was the gift shop near the entrance. They’d gone in a full circle, taken three bathroom breaks, and drank numerous bottles of water. Lily looked like a deer in headlights when Neil asked if she wanted to buy anything. But she eventually picked up a plastic stingray and a plastic koala.

“Are those your favorites?” Neil asked. She nodded. There hadn’t been any koalas at the zoo.

Lily looked around.

“Andrew went ahead of us to the car,” Neil said. He felt bad that Andrew was so tense by the end of their trip, but he knew Andrew wouldn’t have stayed or even come if he didn’t want to.

And by the car was where they found him. He was holding a finished cigarette and staring at nothing in particular. He got into the car with them and Neil watched him try to relax into the seat.

“I can take Lily to her appointment if you need to go home,” Neil said softly. He watched Andrew’s jaw work, but he said nothing as he pulled out and headed for Lily’s appointment.

They reached the building, but went inside without Andrew who hadn’t moved from his seat. Neil sat with Lily and tried not to worry about Andrew. There were other people in the waiting room and he could feel their eyes tracing over his scars and it was not helping his current anxiety.

“Hi Lily!” a young woman called. She was dressed business casual with her dark hair pulled into a braid. She was at least a few years younger than Neil. “And you must be Neil Josten,” she said and shook his hand. “Will Andrew be with us today?” she asked. “I was hoping to spend some time talking to you two as well as Lily.”

“He won’t be here today,” Neil said and then after a moment added, “But I can still meet with you.”

She smiled. “Why don’t I go back with Lily and then I’ll come get you in about an hour?”

“Okay. I have to run out to the car, but I’ll be back shortly.” Neil stood while Lily went with Kim, but she kept her eyes on him, curious.

When Lily was gone, Neil bolted out the door and was relieved to find Andrew’s car still in the parking spot. Andrew was still glued to his seat, expression blank, shoulders and jaw set tight.

“Go home,” Neil said firmly. “I know you want to be here for her, but it’s okay if you need to go. She will understand. Go home and shower.”

“Stop talking,” Andrew barked. Neil shut his mouth, but didn’t take his eyes off Andrew. He was griping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white. The car was off, so it was quickly heating up. Andrew’s brow was sweaty and his cheeks were flushed.

Neil could feel his shirt starting to stick to his body again as he sat in the stuffy car. He waited with Andrew for fifteen minutes with no change before opening the car door. “If you go, text me. I need to go inside,” Neil said and shut the door. He went back inside hoping Andrew would go home.

Right before he joined Kim and Lily, Neil got a text from Andrew that he was going home. It put him slightly at ease. Going in to talk with Kim did not.

“Lily was telling me about Exy and the zoo,” Kim said as Neil sat on the couch with Lily. “I don’t know anything about Exy but she said it was wild,” Kim laughed lightly. She was much different from Betsy, Neil noted.

“Yes Exy is a big part of our lives and I’m glad Lily seems to enjoy it,” Neil said politely. Kim smiled.

“I wanted to bring you in to see if there was anything you wanted to talk to Lily about. She told me she hasn’t talked to yet and I was wondering how you felt about that?”

“I don’t mind,” Neil said. “I understand that she needs to take her time.”

“So it hasn’t been a problem?”

“I don’t think so. We seem to be doing well at communicating. And she talks to Andrew sometimes, so I’d like to think that everything is okay right now,” Neil explained. Lily nodded.

“She wanted me to tell you that you ask the right questions,” Kim said and Lily nodded again. Neil smiled at her.

“I think we’ve got a good system. Me and Andrew, we were nervous about taking in a child, but so far it’s been great.”

Kim smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. Now Lily can you go wait outside? I want to talk to Neil alone for a minute.”

Lily stood up and looked at Neil.

“Andrew had to go home to shower,” Neil told Lily. She nodded and went out the door.

“Can you tell me more about your decision to take in Lily?” Kim asked when the door closed.

“It was something Andrew wanted to try. He grew up in the system,” Neil said simply. That seemed to satisfy Kim.

“Do you have any concerns about selective mutism? I know her last family struggled with it,” Kim said. Neil shrugged.

“I figure if she has something to say to me she’ll say it when she needs to,” he told her. “Neither Andrew nor I worry about it or are bothered by it.”

Kim nodded along with an expression Neil couldn’t quite read. He figured she didn’t believe him, but he wasn’t about to go out of his way to make his case. He felt her eyes on the scars on his face, but kept his expression neutral. She could make her own assumptions.

“I did some research on you and Andrew Minyard,” she finally said. Neil had expected that. “I know the state and everything cleared you two, but I’m watching too. I don’t know how I feel about Lily being around you two.”

“We are not dangerous,” Neil said, grateful that Andrew wasn’t there to hear her. She nodded, but didn’t look convinced.

“I expect to see Lily every Tuesday and I will call her case worker at the first sign of trouble,” she warned. Neil wanted to roll his eyes.

“We only want to make Lily happy,” Neil said and stood up. “We’re going to go now. I’ll see you next Tuesday.” He left before she could say anything else.

He found Lily in a chair in the waiting room. He smiled and motioned for her to follow him outside. Andrew wasn’t back yet, but Neil didn’t want to wait around inside. So, they waited on a bench outside instead.

Neil sighed, looking at the sky. He couldn’t blame Kim really. He and Andrew had messy pasts that were on the internet for everyone to see. Mrs. Fuentes had told them it took a lot for them to be processed. A lot of people had to be convinced that he and Andrew were suitable enough. They had Betsy to thank for a lot of it.

He didn’t feel like he needed to prove they were competent, but a lot of people were watching and waiting for him or Andrew to make a mistake.

Neil took out his phone and sent the picture of Lily to the group chat. He put his phone back in his pocket and turned to Lily. “Was it okay with Kim today?” he asked. Lily looked unsure but slowly nodded. “Okay.”

 

Andrew showed up half an hour later wearing different clothes and looking a little less tense. The car ride home was silent as was meal prep and dinner. Neil left Andrew and Lily downstairs while he went to take a much needed shower.

He let his mind go blank as he stood under the cool spray.

The bathroom door opened and shut. “I don’t think her therapist likes the idea of two men raising a child,” Andrew said flatly.

“Did Lily say that?”

“No she told me her therapist asked how she felt about gay people being her parents and Lily asked me what gay meant because she didn’t know.”

“What did she tell Kim?” Neil asked.

“That she liked living with us.”

Neil relaxed. If Kim didn’t like it, Neil didn’t care. “What did she say when you explained it?”

“Nothing.”

Neil didn’t push it. “Are you feeling better?”

Andrew didn’t answer him, but started brushing his teeth instead. Neil got out of the shower and dressed for bed. “Can I touch you?” he asked.

“Not yet,” Andrew said. Neil nodded and left Andrew to finish up in the bathroom. He went to Lily’s room and knocked on the door. She opened in wearing her pajamas.

“I wanted to say goodnight,” Neil said. She nodded and then shut her door. He stood outside her door for a moment listening to the quiet music and her humming.

When Andrew left the bathroom, Neil headed back into the bedroom. He climbed into bed next to an exhausted looking Andrew. “Can I touch you?” Neil asked.

“Above the shoulders,” Andrew said quietly. Neil cupped his jaw and ran his thumb over his cheek. Andrew relaxed into his touch.

Neil leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. There was so much he wanted to say but he knew Andrew would tell him to shut up.

“We don’t ever have to go back to the zoo,” he said. Andrew’s hazel eyes bore into him.

“Okay,” he said. Neil moved his hand up and through Andrew’s hair. Andrew shut his eyes as Neil continued carding his fingers through his hair.

After a moment, Andrew said, “Are you going to pet me all night or are you going to sleep?”

Neil smiled to himself and placed a kiss on Andrew’s nose. Andrew grunted at him.

“Goodnight,” Neil whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I can say is just wait until Neil takes Lily's picture and she gives him a huge genuine smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing the end of this chapter gave me life, so I hope you all like it!

A package arrived Friday morning addressed to Lily, but Neil relaxed when he saw it was from Allison. Lily opened it after breakfast. Inside were two shirts that Allison had redesigned for Lily. The first was for the Richmond Lions, their professional team. It had both N. JOSTEN and A. MINYARD printed on the back. The second shirt was a USA National Team shirt, the Tokyo 2020 Gold Medal edition, and had the entire teams names printed on the back.

“You can wear them to the games if you want,” Neil said as Lily pulled the Lions shirt over her pajamas. It fit perfectly.

Lily nodded and spread the other out in front of her.

“Can I take a picture to show my friend Allison, who made them for you?” Neil asked. She nodded, staring up into the camera.

Neil took the picture and sent Allison a thank you. Then he pulled a picture of her up on his phone. “This is Allison,” Neil said showing the picture to Lily. “You’ll probably meet her at some point.”

Lily pointed over to Neil’s Exy wall. He nodded. “Yeah I played with her in college.”

Lily nodded.

“Why don’t you go show Andrew? I have to go get ready,” Neil told her as he finished emptying and filling the dishwasher. Lily got up and took her shirts into the back yard where Andrew was sitting on the deck. He was ready to go. Neil still had to get his overnight bag in order. Andrew and Lily’s bags were waiting in the living room.

After the game, they’d drive to West Virginia. The ride was a few hours, but Neil found it easier to relax if they got there as soon as they could. During the game, Lily was going to sit with Angelica’s wife, Tess, and their kids Luke and Molly. Neil had introduced Lily the other day at practice. Luke and Molly didn’t seem bothered that Lily didn’t say anything, so Neil hoped she’d be okay with them during the game.

 

At noon, they piled into the car and headed for the professional court. There were already people milling about waiting for the game to start, so Neil and Andrew tried to head inside as quick as possible. They arrived very early in hopes to keep Lily out of the eyes of the press.

So, they hung around the lounge. Neil played catch with Lily for a while. Neil was impressed to see that she spent time trying to catch with her left hand as well as her right.

Everyone slowly trickled in, all pumped for the opening game. Neil fed off the building energy, itching to get ready and out on the court, and Andrew disappeared with Lily to get her a snack.

Two hours before game time, Lily went with Tess.

“Come on Lily,” Molly said holding out her hand. Her thick black hair was decorated with maroon and gold ribbons. She brought extra for Lily.

Lily looked at Andrew and then Neil before taking Molly’s hand. She happily led Lily after her mother. Neil felt a weird twinge of separation anxiety even though he knew Lily was safe. He’d explained Lily’s mutism to both Angelica and Tess and they assured him everything would be fine. Andrew even told Neil to calm down.

Neil thought about how exciting Lily’s first game would be instead. It was a pretty even match, but he was confident that they’d win. Andrew said he always thought that.

Everything in the world melted away when the game started. Every thought in Neil’s mind turned to Exy even though he wasn’t on the court until the second half of the first half. Their team moved like a well-oiled machine. Since Neil had signed two years ago the team had gone from sixth in the South Eastern bracket to second. And placed them at fourth out of all the teams in the country.

They made it to semi-finals last year and Neil was confident they could make it to finals this year.

The US Team was ranked second and usually made it to finals behind Canada and in front of Australia. But there was rumors that Mexico, Brazil, and South Africa were eager to take those spots.

Neil was glad the season started again. He kept up with college Exy mostly to see which players would be entering the professional leagues, but now that his season had started he felt right.

At the half, they were up by one and feeling good. Neil had scored three of their six points and was buzzing with energy. Andrew just looked at him mildly annoyed while they cooled down in the lounge. Andrew was going in for goalie for the second half and Neil hoped Tess told Lily.

The rest of the game flew by in a well fought battle. They ended 7-6 Lions favor and Neil left the court with some new bruises, but nothing extreme. What Atlanta lacked in aggression they made up for with speed. It kept Neil on his toes the entire game.

After they were showered and dressed, they met Tess in the lounge. All the kids were struggling to keep their eyes open.

“I made sure to point out where you and Andrew were at all times,” Tess said softly. “She spent most of the time standing and watching the game where as my kids were bored three seconds in,” she laughed.

“That’s good to hear,” Neil said watching Lily get up to go sit by Andrew.

“Yep she was clapping for each point,” Tess added. Neil felt a tingle of happiness rush through him. Being so new to Exy, Neil was surprised and thrilled by how interested Lily was.

They headed out when the crowds had subsided. Lily instantly fell asleep in her booster seat and Neil leaned over to put a blanket over her.

“What are you going to do with Lily during the day?” Neil asked as they drove down the quiet highway.

“Whatever she wants to do,” Andrew said. “Keep her away from the junkies.”

Neil assumed he was referring to Kevin and Jean.

The stopped at a rest stop halfway to Castle Evermore. Neil picked a sleepy Lily up and carried her into the too bright rest area. There weren’t many people in the bathrooms, but Neil didn’t feel comfortable with Lily going into the bathroom by herself. So, her carried her into the men’s bathroom without a second thought.

When they were done, Neil carried her back to the car. She fell asleep in the short walk.

“If she’s too tired during the game tomorrow, you can take her back to the hotel,” Neil told Andrew. Andrew didn’t say anything and the rest of the ride was quiet.

 

They arrived in the middle of the night and Neil couldn’t be any readier for sleep. While Andrew showered, Neil tucked Lily into one of the two queen beds. She was cranky as he changed her into her pajamas, so he made a note to have her change before they left next time.

Once they were in bed with the lights out, Andrew ran his fingers over Neil’s lips. He couldn’t see Andrew in the dark, but the touch was welcomed. He kept his hands to himself though.

“Don’t show off tomorrow,” Andrew murmured. If Neil wasn’t so tired he’d have scoffed.

“As if,” he said sleepily.

Andrew grunted, tugging his hair gently, before Neil drifted into a dreamless sleep.

 

The morning was grey with heavy rain clouds when Neil met up with Kevin and Jean for a run. It was routine. They didn’t speak at all, just ran together through the early morning streets. Kevin was the only player in the starting USA Nationals line up who was both a court player and a professional player. All other starters only played court. Everyone else played on two teams. Neil and Jean were in the second rotation.

When they got back to the hotel, the three went their separate ways without saying a word. Neil slipped quietly into his room to shower and get ready to head over to Castle Evermore. It didn’t bother him to be there anymore, but there was always a faint ache in his body when he entered.

Neil was able to walk to Castle Evermore before the rain started. Lily was still asleep and he didn’t want to wake her just so Andrew could drive him. There was a three hour morning practice before lunch and prep from the coach. The game started at 6 pm and they had press to do after lunch until it was time to suit up.

Dealing with press conferences were Neil’s least favorite part of the day, but he only had to do them when he would be starting. Which for the opening game, he was. If he was lucky they’d mostly ask about his game last night.

Practice was over fast. While the vibe was different than with his professional team, Neil still loved the atmosphere. And listening to Kevin never got old. The day he got off his high horse was the day Neil would start believing in a god.

During lunch, they went over a last minute review of England’s team. Their strong point was their new goalie. England never impressed much until preseason press got a hold of their new goalie and flooded the system with old tapes. Other than that, Neil was pretty confident in their win tonight. They might not score as many points, but Kevin had drilled it into their heads that he wanted to see triple the amount of shots taken. Their captain just shrugged when the other strikers looked annoyed.

Press went better than expected. Neil was mostly over looked in reporter’s eagerness to talk to Kevin. Neil tried to figure out what could possibly be new or interesting about him at this point. As with most games, Neil was asked what it felt like to be the shortest one on the court. He always laughed and said he was lucky he was fast.

And then it was game time. As Neil was changing, he received a photo of Lily from Andrew. They were in their seats and she was wearing her new shirt and a red, white, and blue bow in her hair. It made Neil smile.

A second later, as if Andrew read his mind, he got a text that said ‘don’t show off’. Neil laughed and tucked his phone away in his locker.

At half time they were up by three, but the goalie had blocked most of the shots they took. It had Kevin snapping snippy remarks at Neil in French just like old times. They were also rougher. Not even five minutes in, Neil had the wind knocked out of him when he was slammed against the plexiglass. By the half, numerous yellow cards had been given. Their coach yelled at them to stop being childish and start playing like adults.

The second half, England played better defense, but Neil again got the wind knocked out of him when he was checked into the wall. Elbows were aimed at his helmet, but he managed to avoid most of them. He left the court with aching ribs.

They only scored once in the second half but won 4-2. England’s goalie was no joke. It’d been exhilarating though and he was pretty sure he didn’t try to show off. But he wasn’t even sure he knew what Andrew meant when he said not to show off. He did feel good about scoring one of four goals though.

Neil took his time changing. The crowd would be celebrating well into the night, but he hoped the mass of people would dissipate a bit before he left. Most of his team went off to celebrate, but they didn’t push Neil to join them this time as they knew he was caring for Lily. He said he’d be with them when they celebrated in Germany, their first away game.

 

Andrew was waiting in the lounge with Lily on his hip. She was sacked out on his shoulder wearing Andrew’s Tokyo 2020 sweatshirt. It was at least ten times too big for her. Neil smiled as warmth spread through his chest at the sight of them.

“Hey,” he said softly. Andrew nodded to him. “What did you guys do today?”

“We went to the store because she didn’t have rain boots,” Andrew said. Neil looked at her feet which were tucked into shiny, bright red rain boots with daisies on them. “Then we watched a movie.”

“How was she with the thunder?” Neil asked as they headed out.

“Okay. I turned the movie up loud.”

At the car, Neil took the sweatshirt off Lily before they buckled her into her booster. Andrew lay it over her like a blanket.

“When did you have her change?” Neil asked as they drove to the hotel.

“At the half I took her to one of those family bathrooms and she changed and brushed her teeth. She fell asleep near the end.”

“Did she see my goal?” Neil joked. Andrew scowled.

“Are you all in one piece?”

“Yeah, just sore and bruised. I got hit hard twice, but nothing a bath and rest won’t fix,” Neil said. Andrew just narrowed his eyes at him.

Back in the hotel room, Neil took Lily’s boots off while Andrew held her. She barely woke when they got her out of the car, and Neil was slightly impressed by her ability to sleep like a rock.

He looked at Andrew holding Lily tight and smiled. Andrew scowled and motioned for Neil to get out of the way, but Neil crowded into his space and leaned forward to whisper in Andrew’s ear.

“I love you,” he said so softly that he didn’t know if Andrew could hear him. Neil leaned back. Andrew’s expression didn’t change, but he reached out for Neil with his free hand and wrapped it behind Neil’s neck so he could pull him down to eye level.

In quick succession, Andrew placed a kiss to Neil’s lips, then nose, and then forehead. Neil smiled bigger as Andrew let go and pushed past him to put Lily to bed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I basically cried and screamed (in a good way) writing the end of this chapter, so be prepared. Enjoy!

Traveling for international games had always been horrible, but leaving Andrew and Lily behind had taken it to a new level. The first game, in Germany, Neil hadn’t been able to sleep during the flight and was anxious all night in his hotel room. He was fine during the game, but when he wasn’t playing he was a mess.

The saving grace was the moment Neil left, Andrew gave his phone to Lily and in the 56 hours Neil was gone he’d received close to a 100 different pictures from her. A lot were of the cats. Some were from the Lions practice. Sometimes Lily was in the picture and there were even a few she took of Andrew. It meant more to Neil than he could put into words.

Before he left Germany, he got together with Nicky and Erik at their house. Nicky wanted to know everything there was to know about Lily.

“We’ve actually been looking into adoption,” Nicky said after asking all his questions. Neil wasn’t surprised. “Our church has a lot of connections in other countries and some of them allow gay couples to adopt from them, so we’ve been considering it.”

“We’ve looked into it before, but it was never the right time,” Erik added. “But seeing your success has inspired us again.”

“I just, if there’s a kid out there for Andrew, then I shouldn’t have to worry,” Nicky laughed.

“You’d both be great parents,” Neil said making Nicky beam.

“There are just so many things I want to teach a kid to do,” Nicky said with a sigh. “And knowing there are so many child out there who need a place. I want to keep providing that place.”

Neil didn’t tell Nicky that was Andrew’s thought process too.

 

The trip to Vancouver wasn’t any easier and neither was the trip to Mexico. Especially after their loss in overtime to Mexico. Neil sat on a bench near the baggage claim wishing for sleep. His entire body was exhausted since he caught a red eye after the game so that he’d be home for the 4th of July. Never in his life had he celebrated it, but Matt and Dan had asked if he wanted them to come down and show him how it was done. He would have said no, but Andrew told him Lily celebrated the 4th of July.

Neil’s phone vibrated signaling Matt’s arrival to pick him up, so he dragged himself out to the car.

“Heyyy Mr. Big Shot Exy Player~” Matt teased when Neil sank into the passenger seat. Neil grunted at him. Matt laughed. “We arrived pretty late so Andrew wouldn’t have to entertain us or something,” Matt explained.

“You’re too kind,” Neil said. He was pretty sure Andrew let Matt and Dan come because he didn’t know what they were supposed to do for the 4th of July either. He didn’t say it though.

“There’s a parade in the morning that Andrew said Lily wanted to go to. I assume you’re tasked with accompanying us.”

“Yeah that’s what I was told. And then we are going to barbeque for dinner and Andrew said you brought sparklers.”

“Yeah Brooklyn loves sparklers to the point where I’m afraid she’s going to be one of those kids who likes fire or something,” Matt said. Brooklyn was their oldest daughter who was just a little younger than Lily. “Brooklyn talked to Lily a bit and we explained that she might not talk back, but Brooklyn didn’t seem to mind. Not that I thought she would. She talks for Luke and Lacey all the time.”

Brooklyn had always reminded Neil of an even more outgoing version of Dan.

At the house, Neil was quiet as Brooklyn and Luke were asleep on the couch. Andrew was sitting at the breakfast bar, but went silently upstairs when he made eye contact with Neil. Matt wished him goodnight when they got to the top of the stairs. Neil peeked into Lily’s room where she was sound asleep. Dan had gotten all the kids matching flag shirts and Lily’s was folded on top of her dresser.

Neil shut the door and went to his room. He wanted to fall face first into his pillow, but the airplane ride made him feel gross. He turned his attention to Andrew who was sitting on his side of the bed. Neil went over to him and pushed his face into the side of Andrew’s face, inhaling the scent of his shampoo and letting his thick hair tickle his face.

Andrew just sighed.

“You smell like an airplane,” Andrew said.

“Gonna shower,” Neil whispered as he continued to nuzzle Andrew. Andrew dragged his fingers through Neil’s hair and cupped the back of his head. Neil pressed a kiss to Andrew’s ear before pulling away. He smiled when he saw Andrew’s pink cheeks. “Gonna shower,” Neil repeated.

Andrew grunted in response.

Neil didn’t expect Andrew to be awake when he got out of the shower, but Andrew was still sitting on the bed. Neil watched him as he climbed into bed and lay on his back. Andrew looked over at him. He leaned over Neil and pressed their foreheads together.

“I don’t like when you’re far away,” Andrew whispered. The words melted all over Neil leaving him feeling warm.

“I’m home now and for a while,” Neil whispered back. Andrew pressed a kiss to Neil’s lips. The constant travel never got easier. But it was rare for Andrew to bring it up. “I’m falling asleep,” he yawned. Andrew’s forehead was still pressed against his.

“I know.”

“You can sleep close to me. I won’t touch you,” Neil murmured trying to hold onto consciousness. He felt Andrew move so that his arm was pressed against Neil’s. Andrew didn’t often talk about missing Neil, but his actions spoke volumes.

 

Neil woke late to an empty bed. He dressed for the humid day in khaki shorts and a t-shirt before heading to the kitchen. He wasn’t surprised to find it bustling and full of energy. Matt was making waffles that Dan covered in strawberries, blue berries, and whipped cream. Matt had the baby on his hip while their other two kids and Lily sat at the breakfast bar all dressed in their flag shirts. While they waited Brooklyn sang along to whatever music was playing. Neil didn’t recognize the song.

“Morning Neil!” Dan said happily and gave him a quick hug. “I’m so glad we were finally able to get together. How was your flight? How was the game? Looked pretty rough.”

“Flight sucked. Game was good, but we didn’t expect to lose in over time. Kevin was a nightmare. I’m glad I left earlier.”

“No surprise there,” Matt said. “Both your seasons are looking good though. My team needs to pick up the pace,” he laughed.

“All you guys ever do is talk about Exy,” Brooklyn complained.

“Oh shush. You don’t mind Exy,” Dan said passing the kids their plates. “She got my performing genes instead of the Exy ones,” Dan said to Neil. He nodded, knowing Brooklyn had been in dance classes since she could walk.

“Neil, I do a Broadway class now though! And it’s amazing!” Brooklyn said, eyes sparkling.

“It’s intense stuff for a five year old, but she loves it more than her parents,” Dan said with a shrug. “I’m sure you’ll see a demonstration at some point.”

“We just did Hairspray,” Brooklyn told Neil. He had no idea what that was.

“Lily likes music a lot too,” Neil said going to stand by Lily who was quietly eating. “She’s always listening to the music from Moana.”

“I LOVE MOANA,” Brooklyn exclaimed. “So does Lukie. Right?” she asked and her brother nodded. Neil noticed how all the kids had berry juice all over their faces.

“I missed you,” Neil said softly to Lily. She gave him a tiny smile. “And I really liked all the pictures you sent me. Did you like mine?”

She nodded. Neil smiled.

“Was Andrew okay when I was gone?”

She nodded slowly.

“Did he miss me?”

She nodded surer of her answer.

“Okay, thanks,” Neil said and patted her head. He then picked up two plates of waffles and went in the backyard to find Andrew. He was sitting on the stairs leading to the grass. He held a half smoked cigarette and didn’t look over when Neil sat down. He just held out his hand for his plate.

“It’s crazy in there,” Neil said to break the silence. Andrew said nothing so Neil started eating. “Are you coming to the parade?”

“It’s everything I wanted when I was a little kid,” Andrew said after a moment. Neil looked back at the house. The door was shut, but he could still hear them inside.

“Me too,” Neil admitted.

“She says each day is better than a dream.”

Neil had a feeling he knew what Andrew was trying to tell him.

“We will make sure it stays that way,” Neil said. Andrew nodded.

 

The parade was nothing special, but the kids didn’t seem to mind. Lily sat on the curb with Brooklyn and Luke. They’d been lucky enough to get a spot under a small tree. There were a few high school and middle school marching bands. There were floats for local events and gatherings. Some of the floats were passing out candy. There were veterans, girl scouts, and boy scouts. There were people who were running for office in the town. And to everyone’s joy and delight there were fire trucks and an ambulance and all the fire fighters and police men had water guns and happily sprayed the sweaty kids.

Neil spent most of the parade realizing he didn’t know much about the happenings of where they lived. And he knew even less people. It made him weary of the upcoming school year. The only people he knew were the Yoon’s and the kid of lived on the corner of their street. But he assumed with Lily in school he’d have to interact with at least some of the parents.

He could only imagine the parents of her classmates looking him and Andrew up and freaking out.

Neil wanted a drink.

On the walk back to the house, Lily slipped her hand into Neil’s as if she could sense his distress. He smiled at her.

“Was the parade fun?” he asked. She nodded with another small smile.

At the house, the kids went upstairs to put on bathing suits. Matt had brought the blow up kiddie pool and was setting it up in the back yard. Neil went to sit on the couch with Andrew. He told him about the parade and that Lily seemed to like it. Andrew nodded along.

Lily came downstairs in her swimsuit and swim shirt with the sunscreen. Lily didn’t like how the scarred skin on her torso showed when she wore her swimsuit, so they’d gotten her a swim shirt. She said she was okay with the scars on her legs.

Neil rubbed sunscreen on Lily while Andrew wrinkled his nose. Andrew refused to touch sunscreen and hated the smell. He mumbled something about the past to Neil the first time Neil bought it a long time ago.

Outside Dan was standing in the pool holding Luke’s hands as he splashed in the water. Brooklyn sat in the pool wearing an oversized pair of heart shaped sun glasses. Matt sat in the shade feeding Lacey.

“Are you going to go in the pool?” Neil asked Lily. She held up an Exy ball, so Neil followed her into the yard to play catch. Neil was impressed with her catch skills and how they’d improved over the last month. She alternated catching and throwing with her left and right.

“Wow Lily!” Dan shouted. “That’s impressive!”

“I really want to get her playing, but Andrew is making me wait,” Neil said with a sigh.

Dan laughed. “If she’s gets too into Exy too soon Andrew might actually have to like Exy.”

“True,” Neil laughed.

“I hope at least one of my kids is into Exy. My bets are on Lukie, but Matt says it’ll definitely be Lacey. Barring no future complications that is,” she said. Dan’s pregnancy with Lacey had been rough and Lacey was born premature. She had a lot of breathing complications that finally seemed all sorted out now that she was over a year old.

Lily eventually joined Dan, Luke, and Brooklyn in the pool. She looked weary at first, but was soon smiling as she listened to Dan and Brooklyn talk.

Andrew sat in the shade of the umbrella on the deck. Matt was getting the grill ready, and Neil was sitting with Lacey on the deck. She was playing with the Exy ball. Babies confused Neil. They were so small and vulnerable, and yet they were so resilient. Six seemed like a good age to Neil though. He wouldn’t know what to do with a baby and he figured Andrew wouldn’t either. Andrew had held Lacey once a few weeks after she’d been born. He held her for less than a minute before passing her back to Dan and that was the only time Neil had seen Andrew hold a baby.

But he liked how relaxed Andrew looked when he carried a sleepy Lily. He held her with ease and it warmed Neil’s heart. Knowing Andrew wanted to hold and care for Lily made Neil happier than he could put into words. He’d tried expressing it to Andrew, but Andrew had just gone pink and walked away from Neil.

“We might need to buy a little pool,” Neil said to Andrew. “Or go to the pool.”

“Public pools are gross,” Andrew said flatly. Neil shrugged. It was true.

“Then we can buy one and all sit in it and drink tropical drinks,” he teased. He watched Andrew wrinkle his nose.

 

Dinner was delicious. Fat, juicy burgers covered in good cheese and cold drinks. Andrew cut up a huge watermelon for the kids to eat when they were done and soon they were all covered in juice from the watermelon.

After baths and showers, the kids gathered in the yard for sparklers. The sun was setting and turning the sky a dreamy shade of pink and Neil found it very peaceful. The kids in the yard, Andrew on the steps with him, a nice little family and their friends. It was a life that he’d only recently realized he wanted, but one he wouldn’t trade for anything. He’d do all the traveling if it meant he could come back to this.

Andrew gently took Neil’s hand in his own. He ran his thumb over Neil’s knuckles as he stared at the kids running around with sparklers. His words were ringing in Neil’s ears. This was all he wanted as a kid. It made Neil’s eyes burn when he thought about it. Such a simple desire that he never got.

Neil squeezed Andrew’s hand because even if he’d never had the childhood he wanted, he was able to give it to someone else and be an active participant. Neil didn’t mind giving Andrew alone time with Lily whether they watched a movie or went for a walk or just talked in her room. Andrew always came to Neil to tell Neil all about their alone time. Neil loved listening to Andrew talk about Lily. He didn’t mind that Lily hadn’t spoken to him yet. He liked that Andrew had a special bond with someone.

Lily brought Neil and Andrew each a sparkler. As she turned to bound across the yard to get another from Matt, Neil leaned over and pressed his lips to Andrew’s cheek in a quick kiss. Then he whispered, “I love you and our family.”

He felt Andrew shuddered and watched him shut his eyes while taking a deep breath. Neil wasn’t surprised that it was overwhelming for him. But he opened his eyes as the sparkler died out and turned to look Neil in the eye and squeezed his hand before leaning in to quickly kiss his lips, nose, and forehead.

Neil shut his eyes, smiling. It was nice to learn the meaning of the word perfect.

 

Neil stood in Lily’s doorway to say goodnight. He watched her pull back her covers and rearrange her stuffed animals before climbing into bed. Then she waved for him to come in. Neil went to her bed and gave her a hug goodnight. It was a new addition to the bedtime routine.

“Did you have a good day?” Neil asked. She nodded, looking at him with big brown eyes. Neil smiled, sitting down on the side of her bed. “Good. Me and Andrew aren’t good with holidays really, but if you teach us I’m sure we will learn,” he told her.

She gave him a small smile.

“Okay Lily goodnight, and sweet dreams,” Neil said. He squeezed her hand and moved to get up, but she continued to hold his hand for a moment. “Do you need some water or something?” Neil asked as she stared at him for a moment.

Then she said, “Neil, I want to learn how to play Exy.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than usual! Hope everyone enjoys!

Neil had never taught someone Exy before. It was easy because Lily learned fast, but it was hard because Neil kept having to go back and cover rules he forgot. There was so much of the game that was just ingrained in Neil that it slipped his mind to tell people about it.

Lily was patient with him though.

They spent hours in the yard throwing and catching. Sometimes Neil would set up simple plays for her to practice.

Sometimes they’d walk over to the school so that they could bounce the ball off the back wall.

Lily’s aim was something to be jealous over. Neil _almost_ wanted to call Kevin just to brag. It made Andrew roll his eyes.

The hardest part of teaching Lily was Neil had to learn not to use all his strength when throwing the ball. He’d knocked Lily’s racquet out of her hands more than once when she caught a particularly hard throw or bounce.

Still she was patient with Neil.

 

The two of them stood behind the school after a lengthy practice and Neil was making Lily finish all the water in her water bottle.

“School will start in a little over two weeks,” he reminded her.

“I know,” she said. The more Lily talked, the happier Neil was. She called him when he was at away games and sometimes they’d take walks in the evening and Lily would talk about her day or whatever was on her mind. She talked about Andrew a lot too.

“Do you think going in to meet your teacher before school starts will help?”

Lily shrugged and turned to him. “It’ll help you because you worry too much.”

“Hey!” Neil pouted and Lily giggled.

“You do!” Lily emphasized before taking off running across the field. “I’ll race you home!” she yelled back.

“Hey why do I have to carry all this?!” Neil shouted picking up their racquets and the bucket of balls. He wasn’t concerned about Lily’s head start since she’d wait for him to cross the street. So Neil took his time knowing she’d have something to say about it.

Neil caught up to Lily who was laying in the grass.

“What are you doing?” he asked. She opened her eyes squinting at him.

“You took so long I died of old age,” she told him, not getting up. Neil nudged her with the toe of his shoe.

“What, do I have to carry you too?” Neil asked faking annoyance. Lily giggled.

“Can you?” Lily asked, so Neil knelt down so that she could climb onto his back and he could give her a piggyback ride home.

 

Lily’s teacher, Ms. Cara, was a small, young woman who looked slightly intimidated by Neil and Andrew’s presence. She showed them around the room and then where Lily’s desk and locker were. The principal joined them on a short tour of the school and they ended the day with a meeting with the school social worker.

Andrew seemed as uninterested as always, but held tight to Lily’s hand when she took his. That left Neil to ask all the questions for them.

“The school does have a choir,” Ms. Cara said when Neil mentioned Lily liked music. Ms. Cara took a flyer off her bulletin board and handed it to Neil. “There’s an elementary school choir for grades 1 through 4 and then a middle school choir for 5 through 8. Practice would be every Monday after school for an hour and then the combined choirs has practice for an hour on Thursday.”

Neil looked over at Lily, who looked interested.

“Thanks, we’ll discuss it at home. Do they do performances?”

“Yes, one before winter break and then another concert before summer break. It’s a really popular thing to do here.”

“Thanks, we will talk about it.” Neil didn’t have a musical bone in his body, and while he was pretty sure Andrew knew how to play the piano, he never talked about it. But Lily, now that she spoke to Neil, openly sang while doing everything from eating to going to the bathroom to looking for the cats. Neil knew enough to know she was pretty good at holding a tune.

 

At practice, Neil asked Angelica about the choir. “Pfft, I wish my kids could sing. The choir is amazing. We always go to the concerts and they are really good. The middle school also does an acapella choir that has done some small competitions.”

“Lily seems interested,” Neil said. “Although she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to sing in front of other people. We are working on giving her a lot of encouragement.”

“I’ve seen you at the school working on Exy,” Angelica said as they stretched.

“She took to that like a fish to water,” Neil said proudly. Angelica smiled.

“So maybe that’s how the choir thing will be too. And she’s with all those other kids, so it’s not just her singing alone,” Angelica reminded Neil. He nodded in agreement.

After practice, he discussed it in the group chat. The consensus seemed to be to give her a lot of encouragement to at least go to one practice and see if it was something she thought she could do. Allison said to ask if he could go with her. Lily was new and only 6, so Neil going with might help ease her nerves.

 

And then it was the first day of school. Neil’s first day of first grade was a faded memory that meant nothing to him, but he wanted to make Lily’s great. He cooked her favorite breakfast while Andrew tied the laces on her brand new red converse.

“Are you nervous about today?” Neil asked for the third time. Lily rolled her eyes.

“Let’s just take some pictures, Neilo,” Lily said hopping down from her seat and grabbing her backpack.

“You are worrying a lot,” Andrew told Neil.

“Hush, you,” Neil said narrowing his eyes. He pressed a kiss to Andrew’s forehead as he passed though. Andrew caught his wrist and pulled Neil back for a proper kiss. “Are you going to walk with us?”

“Yeah,” Andrew said and headed for the door. Lily was waiting on the front steps. Neil took a few pictures in front of their front door. For all her talk, Lily now looked nervous and barely smiled in the pictures.

“Come on,” Neil said and held out his hand. She took it and then slid her other hand into Andrew’s. That was how they walked to school.

The three of them stood in front of the school watching the other kids and parents gather. Lily’s teacher waved to them, but Lily wasn’t ready to let go. And honestly, neither was Neil. He didn’t know if he wanted to go with her or pick her up and run back home where it was safe.

People were watching them too; eyeing Neil and Andrew for what could have been a number of reasons. They were famous Exy players, Neil looked scary and Andrew looked like a thug, they were two dudes with a kid, Neil was starting to feel panicked.

Andrew turned his head, cool eyes meeting Neil’s, before dropping them to Lily. “Remember what we talked about,” he said to her. She nodded, letting go of their hands. She turned to Neil and he gave her a gentle hug before she went to join her class.

Andrew moved to stand beside Neil, taking his hand tightly. They waited until all the kids were inside before heading home.

“Breathe Neil,” Andrew said as they walked slowly. Neil felt silly. She was only at school and he was freaking out like they sent her to navigate the Himalaya’s alone. It would be the end of the day before they knew it and then she’d be home. Neil just hoped that when she returned, she had good news to share.

“Do you want to shower?” Andrew asked once they were in the front door.

“Yeah, just yeah. Join me?”

Andrew nodded and started up the stairs.

“We can’t take long though. We have that meeting with the social worker,” Andrew reminded him. Neil smiled, following Andrew.

“I haven’t forgotten,” he said.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick warning for brief mentions of homophobia/bullying/and the r-word.

As the professional exy season wound down, Neil found himself grateful for little league. When the United States did not make it to finals, after a devastating and hard fight in Mexico City, he’d asked Lily if she wanted to play little league exy. She was already doing choir after school twice a week, but exy would mostly be on the weekends. 

Lily said she wanted to try and Neil was over the moon. Andrew listened as Neil told him how scary accurate Lily’s aim had become. He was running her through Raven drills that reminded Neil of college and Kevin. He’d then promptly sent a video of Lily playing to Kevin.

Kevin replied with a list of things Neil should be teaching her.

So, through Bruce, Neil and Andrew signed Lily up for little league. Her team was named after a D2 college team in Florida that Neil had never heard of. The Rockets.

Lily said she loved it.

And while Lily was talking freely at home, school was a difficult setting for her to open up in. She didn’t mind singing in choir. Neil had gone with her the first day and when she heard they’d be singing How Far I’ll Go from Moana she was on board.

“How was Mrs. Hart today?” Neil asked about the social worker at the school. Lily met with her three times a week and was free to see her if she needed to. A week ago, she’d started talking to Mrs. Hart.

Lily shrugged, eating her animal crackers. “We talked about the kids in choir who are in the other classes,” she said. There were four first graders in choir, but none of them were in Lily’s class.

“How are they?”

“The girls remind me of Brooklyn and Tommy is still always with his brother. He’s in third grade,” Lily explained. “I saw Ms. Ellie in the hallway though and she said hi to me,” she added. Ms. Ellie was the choir teacher. Another young teacher. So many of them were younger than Neil and he didn’t even consider himself that old.

He and Andrew had already had extensive conversations with the social worker and Lily’s teacher discussing kids who made mean and rude comments to Lily. While she didn’t seem bothered, it bothered Neil, but didn’t surprise it.

Kids asked her why she didn’t talk and if she was retarded. Kids asked what was wrong with Neil’s face. And then there were numerous comments about them being gay.

Mrs. Hart, and the school, already ran assemblies about bullying and what was not appropriate, but Mrs. Hart also spent time with Lily’s class discussing selective mutism.

“Did anyone say mean things today?” Neil asked. Lily nodded.

“But then in gym we were playing t-ball and I threw the ball up and whacked it and they stopped,” she said. Neil was slightly worried that she was learning too much from Andrew.

“How about you save that for little league on Saturday,” Neil said with a wince.

 

“She would tell us if the kids were bothering her,” Andrew said again as Neil lay face down on the bed. “She would.”

And Neil _believed_ him, but he was still super _bothered_ by it.

“She’s strong.”

“But she doesn’t always need to be. It’s okay for her not to be,” Neil said with a sigh. Andrew ran his fingers through Neil’s hair.

“She knows that too. I told her,” Andrew said. Neil told her that too. She said she was okay.

“What if people say stuff when we go for career day next week?” Neil mumbled.

“If they don’t like us than they don’t like us,” Andrew said simply. Neil and Lily had been cutting together a montage of Neil and Andrew playing throughout the years for the presentation. Parents were invited and Andrew had agreed to go with. “Go to bed and stop worrying. You’re making me annoyed.”

Neil pouted and Andrew rolled his eyes before shutting off the bedside lamp.

Unfortunately, Neil spent most of the night staring at the dark ceiling worrying.

 

The Rocket’s practiced at a gym a short drive away. It was a sports complex that held three exy courts for little league and junior league. The team was a variety of 5, 6, and 7 year olds and Lily was the shortest. The coach had 7 year old twins Violet and Jack, while the assistant coach had a 6 year old who was in Lily’s class named Jane O.

Lily told Neil and Andrew that she was Jane O because there was also a Jane P in her class.

“Wow, I saw your names on the list, but I didn’t think it was actually you two,” the coach, Davis, said as he shook Neil’s hand and gave a polite nod to Andrew. “It’s an honor actually.”

“We are looking forward to extending our Exy knowledge,” Neil said with a laugh.

“If you ever have conflicts, let us know. We can always give Lily a ride,” the assistant coach, O’Neil, said.

“Thanks,” Neil said watching Lily join the circle of other kids.

“And if you ever have some pointers, feel free!” Davis called as he walked to the kids. Neil laughed, giving Lily a wave, before heading to the lobby with Andrew to wait.

An ambush waited in the lobby. Almost all the parents, who were well versed in Exy, wanted to talk to Neil or get a picture. He did his best to seem interested even though it was exhausting. Practice was almost over when Neil finally broke free and found Andrew smoking outside.

“Look, it’s the star,” Andrew said flatly. Neil groaned, slumping onto the bench next to me.

“That was worse than press,” Neil muttered. “Can I touch you?” he asked softly. Andrew nodded, lighting a cigarette for Neil. Neil leaned against Andrew, shoulder to shoulder, and took the cigarette. He shut his eyes with a sigh.

The smoke only reminded him of Andrew now. Nothing else. Just the calm, underlying scent of Andrew.

“If you need a minute, I can go get her,” Andrew said quietly. Neil dropped the cigarette and stubbed it out with his shoe.

“No, I’m okay.”

 

 Coach Davis pulled Neil aside as Andrew went to collect Lily.

“Uh I just wanted to say wow,” Coach Davis started. “I haven’t seen a kid with that much ball control ever and wanted to say that she might be bored on this team. We have kids who can barely catch. There’s a travel league that she’d probably be better suited for.”

Neil nodded. He’d discussed it already with Andrew and Lily. “We talked about it and she said she wanted to play with kids from her school first. She’d brand new to Exy and I don’t want to push her in over her head,” Neil explained. The coach nodded.

“Okay, okay I just wanted you to know. We’re happy to have her, but I don’t know how much we can teach her,” he laughed. “She’ll be teaching us probably. But okay. She’s good at changing up when she’s practicing with different kids and we won’t play favorites, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say she wasn’t going to be our secret weapon.”

Neil laughed. “She honestly just wants to fit in,” Neil said.

“We can do that. See you next practice,” Coach Davis said clapping Neil on the shoulder. Neil headed out, the others already in the car.

“Everything okay?” Andrew asked quietly. Neil nodded.

“He was just telling me she’s too good for the team and was worried she might get bored,” Neil said.

“I’m okay,” Lily said from the back. “I want to be a Rocket.”

Neil smiled at her. “Can’t wait to see your first game. You get your uniform next week.”

“Number 10!” she said happily. When Neil had signed her up, she had asked Neil if it was okay if she used his last name. Neil had been over the moon and with the name Josten she ended up as number ten on the roster. She said it was a good luck sign. Neil agreed.

 

They went out for ice cream after dinner to celebrate a successful first practice. Lily talked about how Jane O talked to her a little bit and even asked for her help. Lily talked about how maybe she could be friends with Jane O.

Neil and Andrew walked hand in hand as they headed home after their ice cream. Lily walked in front of them talking about the upcoming Lions game. They were in finals and the games started Monday. Neither of them were sure what they’d do for the away games since Lily had school, but Dan and Matt already offered to come stay with her. Well, one of them. Matt’s team wasn’t in finals, so he said he’d be able to do it.

It was probably the best option even though Neil wanted to bring her with. Andrew just rolled his eyes and told Neil that Lily had to go to school.

“I’ll be there some day,” Lily sang as she skipped along. “I can go the distance. I’ll be on my way. If I can’t be strong.” It was rare that she sang in front of them. She said she wanted to keep the concert a surprise, even though they could hear her belting out the songs in her room. Neil caught Andrew standing in the hallway a lot when she was singing. Andrew said nothing about it. “I know every mile, will be worth my while. I will go the distance and be right where I belong~”

Andrew had been in the dining room the other day, playing the piano. They had an old piano that the previous owners had left for them. He was pretty sure Andrew had been playing the song Lily was singing. He hadn’t mentioned it though, afraid it would scare Andrew away.

He squeezed Andrew’s hand as Lily switched to humming. In just a few months, everything had changed so much as if Lily was a bright new star in the sky that their world now rotated around. Neil loved every minute of it. The more she opened up, the more Neil wanted to promise that he’d always be there to catch her if she fell and lift her up when she needed it.

It often made him think about little Andrew and how he was ready to give Lily everything he wanted. There were so many things Andrew did for Neil, but Neil knew that for Lily, Andrew would go above and beyond. He didn’t say it, but it showed in his actions. In the giggles Neil would hear from the backyard when Andrew was out there with her. How he always prepared two bowls of ice cream. How he sat on the couch and let Lily fall asleep against him. The way he carried her up to bed.

“You’re doing that stupid smile thing again,” Andrew muttered.

“I’m just happy,” Neil said softly. Andrew said nothing, so Neil squeezed his hand again.

 

=========================================================================

 

Career Day presentations made Neil more anxious than any game had. Lily had helped him with the montage and Neil only had to give a brief explanation of what it was like to play professional Exy. He wasn’t worried about that though. He was worried about what the other parents and kids would think and if it would negatively impact Lily.

Andrew told him earlier that he picked a stupid time to start worrying about the opinions of others. That had made Neil feel a little better.

Ms. Cara greeted Neil happily as did assistant coach O’Neil. Everyone else looked weary. And Neil realized it was just like old times.

And therefore nothing to worry about. These people didn’t matter to him and Lily could decide for herself if she wanted them to care about her. Her teacher liked them, and that was all Neil could really ask for.

He zoned out when people talked about their jobs and the class asked questions. He glanced over his notes a few times. There wasn’t much to say; the montage would explain the story better. Lily had picked a lot of footage from games with the Foxes claiming it was the starting point and the turning point. Andrew had probably told her that.

“And now we have Mr. Josten, who is here for Lily,” Ms. Cara introduced. It was like a press conference. “Neil is a professional Exy player and plays on both the National team and the professional state team, the Lions.” She motioned for Neil to come to the front of the class. He did and Ms. Cara started the montage. It was hard not to watch it.

“I played Exy in high school, but when I was recruited to the D1 team at Palmetto State, the Foxes, that was when I fell in love with the sport.” Neil went on to talk about playing through college and playing with Kevin Day. He talked about the transition to professional Exy and how busy his schedule was. He talked about the Olympics and what a rush winning gold was.

And then as his presentation ended, the screen of the montage cut to their kitchen and Lily appeared on screen.

“And I’m going to be the next legend,” she said to the camera as it shifted to videos of her practicing with Neil. Neil’s mouth fell open in shock and he glanced at Lily. Her smug smile was something off Andrew’s face. They’d no doubt planned the little ending themselves.

And Neil couldn’t be prouder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm already super emotional about the upcoming choir concert. You are all probably going to cry with me if you're not crying already. lol. I hope everyone liked this chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

Neil, very quickly, learned he was not made to watch Little League. Exy was so deeply ingrained in his brain, that watching little kids fumble around nearly gave him an aneurism. Andrew sat passively while Neil pulled his hair out. Andrew told him to stop being such a snob and enjoy the game. He told Andrew he could only enjoy it when Lily played.

As Neil had requested, Lily rotated through the various positions. Being goalie was her weakest and being striker was her strongest position. She enjoyed being dealer though.

Her playing depended on her mood going into the game. Sometimes she was fired up and ready to score and win, while other times she seemed to play more passively and open up opportunities for her teammates to score or make a good play.

There was no contact in this little league. Minor contact started in third grade. Neil taught Lily how to block and check, but he was glad she wasn’t doing it in game. She was the shortest on her team and usually the shortest on the court.

But little kids swung their racquets around with reckless abandon and Lily had bruises from rogue swings. She got her fingers smashed during one game and Neil almost had a heart attack, but they ended up not being broken.

That night Andrew told Neil he felt his heart stop at the thought of Lily being seriously hurt.

 

But things were going good. Near the end of October, Lily was speaking to her teacher on occasion. She’d had a few play dates with Jane O and another kid on her team named Dexy. Play dates were foreign to Neil. Andrew disappeared during them leaving Neil to navigate on his own.

But both Jane O and Dexy had parents that Neil could engage with. Talking to them left him drained, but they weren’t bad people. And didn’t pry about anything.

“Jane O likes coming to our house because I don’t have any annoying sisters,” Lily said at dinner. Jane O had two sisters. “But I like Jane O’s sisters,” Lily said. “The other house I stayed at, there were five kids. And the one before that had four,” she told Neil and Andrew.

“Do you like it more when you have siblings?” Andrew asked, surprising Neil. Lily shrugged.

“Sometimes I wish I had them, but I also like how things are now,” Lily said. “But if I had a brother or a sister, I like when I’m the oldest,” she said with a grin.

Neil made a note of that.

 

Halloween came out of nowhere. Neil was used to celebrating with Andrew, but with a kid it was totally different. They let Lily pick out some decorations. They put spider web on their front porch and a skeleton on the door. Inside, they hung bat lights around the back door and stuck Halloween themed jellies to the windows. They also got three pumpkins.

And Neil learned pumpkin guts made Andrew gag.

“Just scoop it all out and I can carve it,” Andrew said from the living room for the third time. He still looked a little green. Lily giggled quietly.

They’d opened their pumpkins and when Andrew went to reach inside, he gagged and walked away. Neil had to bite the inside of his cheek so he didn’t laugh.

“It’s almost all scooped!” Lily called. To Neil she said, “Jane O says they are making orange rice krispie treats for the school party.”

Lily had been talking about the school Halloween party for the last two weeks. They had the party Friday, Lily had a game on Saturday, and then Halloween was Sunday. Andrew said he’d go to the school party, but he was not going trick-or-treating.

“Do they make orange food coloring?” Neil asked.

“I guess,” Lily said with a shrug. Neil vaguely remembered seeing orange colored treats back in college. “Andrew, it’s ready!” Lily called. She’d drawn faces on her pumpkin and Andrew’s, while Neil was left to figure out his own idea. “I gave yours angry eyebrows because Neil said to,” she said outing Neil.

“Hey, that was our secret!” Neil whined as Lily laughed. Andrew scowled at Neil. Lily tried to copy his face. They scowled at each other for a moment before Andrew pulled out a knife and cut into his pumpkin.

“That’s a big knife,” Lily said, watching Andrew. Neil felt the knife was a little unnecessary, but didn’t say anything.

“I’m a big person,” Andrew told her, slicing through the pumpkin with practiced ease Neil hadn’t seen in a long time. “You don’t touch big knives until you have big hands or it can be dangerous. Stick to small knives right now,” he told her. Lily held up her small hand.

“Let me see yours,” she said. Andrew held out his other hand and Neil offered a scared hand. She seemed to be considering their sizes.  “So only small knives right now?” Lily asked Andrew. He nodded. Neil was pretty sure they should be telling Lily no knives, but he let it go. Lily was never going to have to use a knife for defense as long as they were around.

 

Before bed, Neil took some pictures of their pumpkins lit up and then some of Lily with their pumpkins. Her wide, elated smile warmer Neil’s heart. She was missing a few teeth, but still smiled so big it looked like her face was going to crack. Neil always wanted to see that smile.

He was tucking her into bed when she asked if Neil had parents. He paused. He and Andrew had discussed what they’d say if Lily asked, but now that she had, he was at a loss for words.

“I did, but they both died a long time ago,” Neil said softly.

“Do you miss them?” she asked. He shook his head.

“They were… bad people. I was sad when my mom died, but she wasn’t a good person either,” he explained.

“Did she hurt your face?” she asked. Neil absently ran his fingers over his scared face.

“No, people who were… friends with my dad did it,” he said hoping not to overwhelm her.

“Oh.”

Neil sat on the edge of her bed. “A lot of my life was bad for a long time. I wasn’t happy until I went to college and met the Foxes and Andrew. They became my family,” Neil told her. “A lot of people have good families and a lot of people have bad families. But no matter what, you can still pick who you want to be in your family. I had bad parents, but I pushed out the bad and put people I loved in their place. Like Dan and Matt and Nicky and Andrew and you,” Neil said with a small smile.

“Andrew said his parents were bad people too,” Lily said. Neil nodded.

“Andrew had a lot of bad people in his life. Too many bad people who did bad things, but he’s healing now and he’s been healing for a long time,” Neil told her.

“He says only special people get to see him smile,” Lily said. Neil smiled with a nod.

“Does he smile for you too?” Neil asked knowing there was almost nothing better than the rare times Andrew had smiled for him.

“Yes,” Lily said happily, with a grin.

 

The school Halloween party was like a rave for children. In the cafeteria, there were long tables covered in a multitude of desserts, in one gym there was a DJ playing loud, thumping music, and in the other gym there were games set up for the kids to play.

Neil was sure Andrew was going to turn around and walk out, but surprisingly did not. They got tickets for Lily to play games and get dessert and then went to their assigned table with the O’Neil’s and some of their other friends.

The table was empty when they arrived. Andrew took an immediate seat and Neil helped Lily take her coat off. To no one’s surprise she was dressed as Moana. Neil had gotten her a black leotard to wear underneath and they’d gone over to the Yoon’s where Angelica helped Lily make a flower crown full of red flowers.

“Do you see any of your friends?” Neil asked. It was clear the O’Neil’s had been to the table already. Lily didn’t say anything. “Want to go say hi to your teacher? She’s over by the dessert tables,” Neil tried. Lily nodded, to his relief, and he took his hand.

“Lily! And Neil!” Ms. Cara called excitedly.

“Hi,” Lily said quietly. Ms. Cara beamed.

“Did you just get here? I saw Jane and Dexy a few minutes ago,” she said. Lily squeezed Neil’s hand tight.

“Yeah, we just got here,” Neil said. “We’re gonna go look for the other’s, but wanted to say hi first.”

“Okay,” she said. “Do you want any dessert yet? We have a lot of good stuff.”

Neil picked up a cupcake piled high with chocolate frosting. “For Andrew,” he said, nodding to the cupcake.

They took it back to their table, now full of people. Andrew looked indifferent, but his posture screamed hostility. Neil set the cupcake in front of him, but he didn’t move.

“Hey Neil,” the O’Neil’s said. Neil smiled.

“Hi. We were just going to look for you guys.”

The O’Neil’s introduced Neil and Andrew to the other family at their table before Jane O invited Lily to play games with her and some other kids from their grade. Apparently, Jane O had a lot of friends. Neil encouraged Lily to go and she eventually did while Neil remained at the table with the adults.

Neil half listened to the conversation at the table, but didn’t join in. Dexy’s mom stopped by to say hello. So did the Yoon’s. Neil was pretty sure half the people that walked by made some kind of whispered comment, but Neil was focused on keeping his thigh pressed to Andrew’s.

Andrew eventually ate the cupcake, and when Lily returned asking for dessert, Neil made sure to bring Andrew more treats. He said nothing all night. He barely looked like he was paying attention, but Neil knew better.

Neil took pictures of Lily with her friends and her teacher and the choir teacher, who Lily took Neil to see.

“She talks about you and choir a lot,” Neil said to Ms. Hart. “We’re looking forward to the concert in December.”

“It’s going to be great. This year, we have a lot of talented kids. They should be getting their choir robes soon,” she said. Neil nodded.

“I know, Lily can’t wait. I think her choir robe and her Exy uniform will be her favorite things to wear.”

 

At the end of the night, Neil tucked a sleepy Lily into the car while Andrew took his time smoking, not caring that they were still in the school parking lot.

When they got home, Neil put Lily to bed while Andrew bee-lined for the shower. He slipped into their room to wait for Andrew to finish.

“It brings up weird half memories,” Andrew said when he left the bathroom. Neil nodded. “Sometimes school was safe and sometimes it wasn’t.”

“Lily is safe at school,” Neil said as Andrew lay down. Neil let his hand hover above Andrew’s head waiting for Andrew’s nod. When he did, Neil carded his fingers through Andrew’s damp hair.

“Bee says I need to be there more to believe it. Said my own memories are mixing up reality,” Andrew said. “I want Lily to want to go to school, but I don’t want her to feel like she needs to be there to escape us.”

“She doesn’t,” Neil reminded Andrew. They’d had a similar conversation a few weeks ago.

“I barely remember elementary school, but it’s like a bad taste in my mouth.”

Neil took Andrew’s hand, lacing their fingers together. They’d both let Lily paint their nails black for the holiday. It just made Andrew look more like the emo kid Neil imagined he was when he was younger.

“Lily tells you over and over that she wishes she didn’t have to sleep because there aren’t enough hours in the day to enjoy both school and our company, but I’m sure she’ll tell you again,” Neil said brushing his lips against Andrew’s knuckles. “And we caused that happiness. All that happiness was me and you. Our sorry ass’s made some little kid so happy she doesn’t want to sleep,” Neil said almost in awe at his own words.

“Bee wants me to go to the parent teacher conferences later,” Andrew said redirecting the subject. Neil nodded. “She wants me to engage.”

“I think you should,” Neil said quietly. “I mean, we plan to be doing this for a while.”

Andrew just scowled at him. Neil smiled, and kissed the inside of his wrist. Andrew slipped his hand from Neil’s, grabbing Neil’s forearm and yanking him down for a kiss.

“Sometimes I think about how I should have walked away from you,” Andrew muttered against Neil’s mouth.

“You couldn’t. I was too hot or something,” Neil mumbled with a smile. Andrew kissed him to shut him up.

“I can’t stand you.”

“Mmm.” Neil kissed him and then pulled free to go to the shower. “You know, I’m kind of tired and might need some help in the shower.”

“Good. I hope you drown,” Andrew told him. Neil laughed, but once he was in the shower he heard the bathroom door open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized there's a lot that goes on in Neil and Andrew's lives that I don't really cover because it's not the focus of the story? And I hope that's okay. Like for example it feels tedious to write out about every time someone recognizes them. And it's not really important to the story, so just I hope everyone likes how the story is going. 
> 
> Also there are only a few chapters left!! But I'm already planning out a sequel. Hope everyone enjoyed!!


	9. Chapter 9

Lily’s team finished their season in first place and won the championship tournament. Each kid was presented with a trophy and a medal which Neil made a space for in his Exy shrine at their house. He also hung her team picture up with all Neil’s team pictures. He was very pleased with how it looked. Andrew’s eyes nearly rolled out of his head.

“You’re going to need a bigger wall,” Andrew said.

“I’m fine with that.”

“Take all that embarrassing shit down,” Andrew said referring to anything in Neil’s shrine that had to do with him.

“Never,” Neil told him.

 

Conferences were supposed to be short, but Neil and Andrew were meeting with Lily’s teacher and the social worker at the end of the day so that they could have a little more time. First, they’d meet with Ms. Ellie and get Lily’s choir robe, and then go to Ms. Cara.

Neil dressed nice. Andrew still picked out most of his clothes, but over the years Neil knew what fabrics felt best against his skin. The button down was nice without being over the top. Andrew looked exactly the same, in black jeans and a black long sleeve, but Neil was sure they were some expensive brand, not a 6 dollar Hanes shirt from Target which was about all Neil was capable of buying.

Lily was off at the Yoon’s since they’d done their conferences earlier in the day. They invited Lily over for spicy noodles, one of her favorites.

They drive to the school was too short. Neil’s palms were sweaty, but Andrew appeared relaxed while looking indifferent. The school was lit up and the halls were full of art done by the kids. Lily told them her artwork was hanging by her classroom.

The music room was easy to find and Neil held the door for Andrew. Ms. Ellie looked happy to see them and waved them in to where a rack of choir robes were.

“Good evening,” she said sorting through robes as Neil and Andrew took a seat. She pulled a gold robe out. “Elementary has gold robes and middle school has navy blue,” she said handing it to Neil. Then she took a seat. “Well, Lily has asked me to keep most of our work here a secret until the concert so she can surprise you guys, but I wanted to say that, over these last few months, the more comfortable she gets the stronger her voice has gotten.”

Neil smiled. “Singing is one of her favorite things to do.”

“I’m glad she joined us,” Ms. Ellie said. “I’ll give you a little hint that she has a pretty big solo. I was surprised when she raised her hand to audition. We are also going to have a video expressing the kids dreams and wishes and goals for the coming year. Lily told me she already knows what she is going to write. I should stop now or I’m going to spoil all her surprises,” she laughed.

Neil said their goodbyes and headed into the hall with Andrew. “Did you know she had a solo?”

Andrew shook his head. Neil nodded. He was surprised as Ms. Ellie had been, but he was proud.

They waited their turn outside of Lily’s classroom. Her colorful artwork hung with the others. It involved a lot of shapes and bright colors. Andrew muttered that Lily had some of the better color sense compared to other art on the wall.

Another painting was a self-portrait. Neil found it interesting how all the first graders painted themselves. Colorful lips and hair and eyes. Lily wasn’t smiling in her portrait but she’d done her best to paint her Exy uniform. Her curly hair was Neil’s favorite part of the painting. Neil pointed it out to Andrew who nodded.

Mrs. Hart met them in the hall, happy to see both of them had come. They joined Ms. Cara shortly after. Neil liked that the school had chosen to focus more on Native American tribes instead of pilgrims. Lily was excited because a real Chief was coming to talk to their school about his tribe and traditions.

“I’m glad we can all meet. I know it’s been chaotic, but your involvement I think is what’s been key to Lily’s success,” Ms. Cara said. She handed Neil a manila folder. “Inside is Lily’s current progress report and a few recent assignments we’ve done. They kids’ also made collages of what they were thankful for. We used magazines and newspapers and, I’m sure you won’t be surprised, but Lily’s is full of you guys and Exy. And other people that she said are your family.”

“Which brings us to what we mainly wanted to discuss,” Mrs. Hart said. “But first, how’s Lily been since we switched her from her old therapist?”

“Good. I’m glad to be out of there. While she helped Lily a lot and Lily liked her, she did not like me and especially did not like Andrew which made things difficult,” Neil said. the transition happened after Halloween.

“Good. Lily has expressed similar opinions. We are continuing to see improvement though. Branching out to other kids is still hard and she won’t talk to people like the gym teacher or the art teacher, but we are working on it,” Mrs. Hart said.

“What’s the concern then,” Andrew said a little more forceful then he needed to be. But the fact that he spoke at all shocked Neil.

“We think Lily might have an eidetic memory,” Mrs. Cara said. Neil’s eyes widen.

“What makes you think that?” Neil asked.

“During class work or tests, she doesn’t look over her work and gets very stressed when asked if she needs to look something over or check her work. She very rarely needs things explained more than once. But when we were doing the collage project, she knew exactly where things were in magazines. We wanted to know if you’d like her to be tested though.”

“Whenever we check her homework, it’s always all correct,” Neil said almost dumbly.

“Whether or not she does have an eidetic memory, she will probably track into the accelerated math program and probably the accelerated reading program,” Mrs. Hart said. “We don’t want her to become bored, but she’s said she’s okay right now.”

“Yeah she hasn’t said she’s bored. She loves school,” Neil said.

“If it’s ever mentioned, I can give her more to do or we can work something out,” Ms. Cara said. Neil nodded, still shocked. An Exy lover with an eidetic memory. She was the prefer product of both of them somehow.

How the stars and planets had aligned to bring her to them, Neil would never know.

“Andrew can help her. He has an eidetic memory. We will talk to her about testing though,” Neil said. They both smiled and agreed.

 

As they headed back to the car, Neil pulled out Lily’s collage. Sure enough it was covered in pictures of Neil and Andrew and both their teams. She’d even found articles about Dan and Matt and cut their names out. There was a picture of Allison at a fashion show. Tons of Exy pictures, the Palmetto State Foxes logo, the Rockets logo, and the logo of Andrew’s favorite local ice cream shop. There were pictures of stingrays and Moana and music notes. Lots of the color red, cats, smoothies, pancakes, and the number 10.

It made Neil’s eyes water. A few short months had changed all their lives. Neil didn’t know if he could ever wake up and not expect to see Lily.

Andrew took Neil’s hand when they left the school. “This right now, I feel like this is what it’s like to be a parent. At least a good parent,” Neil said, voice shaking as he put the collage away. “Did she tell you about her good memory?”

“No,” Andrew said flatly, getting into the car. “I’ll talk to her about it.”

Neil nodded and left it at that. The short drive was silent, Neil went to the door to collect Lily, and they headed home listening to her talk about her evening.

 

At home, Lily modeled her choir robe for them. Gold with black panels. “Lily, is it okay if we invite some of our friends?” Neil asked. Dan and Matt had gone to one of Lily’s games, but Allison wanted to meet her and Nicky and Erik would be in town. They always visited around Christmas time even though Andrew told Nicky, many times, that it was completely unnecessary and annoying.

Of course, Nicky didn’t care what Andrew said or how many threats he got.

“They want to?” she asked.

“They’d like to meet you, if that’s okay.”

“Who?”

Neil explained, watching Lily’s attention slip to the pictures on the living room wall.

“What about Kevin?” she asked. “And Renee and Aaron?”

“Kevin wants to watch you play Exy, Renee is in the rainforest, and Aaron is working. But they would all like to send you Christmas presents.”

Lily smiled. “Kevin said he wants me to be on a traveling team. Says you’re wasting his time,” Lily laughed. They’d seen Kevin at a fundraiser at the beginning of November. He’d been more interested in talking Exy with Lily than anything else that day.

“Neil’s been wasting everyone’s time, especially Kevin’s,” Andrew said from the couch. Neil rolled his eyes and Lily laughed.

“They can come,” she said to Neil. “If they are your family than I want them to be my family too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT CHAPTER IS THE FINAL CHAPTER. And it's going to be a long one. I'm already super emotional about it, so be ready. (And also don't worry there will be a part 2!)
> 
> Also, can we take a moment to picture Kevin showing up, dropping everything, and beelining for Lily to talk Exy? lol.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has read this story and a special thanks to those who left comments! I loved writing this story so much and definitely have plans in the works for part two! So keep an eye out!! Thank you all again and I hope you enjoy this final chapter!

Thanksgiving was different. For the first time, Neil and Andrew accepted Dan and Matt’s invitation. Well, Neil did. They drove over to their house on Wednesday and planned to stay until Friday. Andrew said nothing about it even when Neil said he didn’t have to go.

The Boyd house was huge. Neil and Andrew had a pretty big house, but the Boyd house had five bedrooms and four baths. Their yard needed a lawn crew. Neil and Andrew had more than enough money for a house like theirs, but even with Lily there sometimes felt like there was too much room.

Lily loved it. Andrew spent most of the time in the spare room, and Neil split his time between the two.

 

The second week of December, Lily asked if they were going to have a Christmas tree. They never had one before, but Andrew immediately told Lily yes.

So, they went to the store and bought a cute, little real tree. It was about Lily’s height and lush. Lily said they needed multi-colored lights and a star. She guided them through picking out ornaments and stockings for by the fire place. They got a wreath for the front door and snowman window stickers.

Neil asked Lily what she wanted for Christmas and she just shrugged.

Neil asked Andrew if he wanted anything, and Andrew’s response was to put two bags of peppermint kisses in the cart. Neil wasn’t surprised.

Before leaving, they got hot chocolate and marshmellows to make when they got home. Lily thought it was a wonderful idea.

As they decorated and drank their hot chocolate, Neil really did wonder what he was supposed to get Lily as a gift. She never asked for much and when she did, they always bought whatever it was.

“What did you want when you were a kid?” Neil asked Andrew as they got ready for bed.

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Andrew told him. Neil sighed.

“What are we supposed to get her?”

Andrew sat on the bed watching Neil. “She’ll like anything you give her.”

“I already know that. But what do I get? There are too many _things_. What are you getting her?”

Andrew shrugged. “I have some ideas.”

“So, tell me!” Neil pleaded. Andrew’s lip curled into a smirk.

“No.”

 

Neil pulled Lily’s hair into a neat bun on top of her head and fastened it with a blue ribbon to compliment her choir robes. Andrew sat on the couch watching while their friends were in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner.

Under her robe, Lily wore her sparkly red Christmas dress she’d picked out on the weekend. Neil couldn’t tell if she was nervous for the concert or that there were so many people in the house. Dan and Matt were there with their kids, Nicky and Erik, and Allison with her two toddlers.

It was a full house. Andrew didn’t look uncomfortable, but he spent most of his time on the outer edges with Lily. Neil played host and it left him exhausted.

“Do you want to take some pictures by the tree?” Neil asked quietly. Everyone had moved to get their coats and shoes on. Lily nodded.

 

The school was bustling with people. Kids in choir robes were crowded in the music room and parents were in the halls and in the auditorium. Neil picked out their seats, middle section a few rows from the front. A lot of people stared as their group took their seats. Luckily the row easily fit twelve people. Andrew sat on the end with Neil at his side. He hadn’t said anything on the ride over, just held Neil’s hand tight.

“They are singing a lot of songs,” Nicky commented. “How many choirs are there? There are like 100 kids on this list!”

At the back of the program, there was a list of all the choir members by grade.

“Lily has a solo?” Allison called down the row. Neil nodded. On the first page were Lily’s three songs; How Far I’ll Go from Moana, Go the Distance from Hercules, and Somewhere Over the Rainbow by IZ. Her solo was in Go the Distance.

“What’s Master Singers?” Dan asked.

“I don’t know. What?” Neil asked. Dan pointed to the third page. Between the combined choir selections there was a break for Master Singers. “I don’t know what that is,” Neil said again. He turned to Andrew, who was flipping through the program. Part of Neil wished it was only he and Andrew there to see the concert. Take away everyone else. Neil pressed his arm against Andrew’s.

“Good evening everyone!” Ms. Ellie greeted when the lights went down and the audience quieted. “I’m so glad to see so many friends and family in the audience. As you know, choir practices are once a week, so these kids have been working hard to prepare so many songs for you! With the Elementary Choir, we discussed hopes, dreams, wishes, and goals. We spent a lot of time talking about how we move forward. Our songs were chosen to reflect these thoughts and ideas. Our first song, How Far I’ll Go from Moana will feature soloist Audrey Wright, a fourth grader,” Ms. Ellie announced. When she was done the kids started filing in.

Lily was in the middle of the first riser. Neil was surprised by how small she looked surrounded by the other kids. He didn’t know if she could see them, but he smiled at her anyway.

“Why does her robe have black?” Nicky whispered in Neil’s ear. He realized then that only a few other choir members had black on their robes.

“I don’t know,” Neil told him. He wondered if Andrew knew, but didn’t ask. Andrew had already said that if Neil talked during the concert he was sleeping on the couch.

The choir took a few minutes to warm up before their teacher motioned for the first soloist to take her place by the mic.

How Far I’ll Go was a song Neil was familiar with as it was one of Lily’s favorites. He’d even seen the movie Moana. The soloist had a pretty voice and did a good job, singing through the first chorus part. At the second verse, the rest of the choir began to sing. It nearly blew Neil away. so many powerful voices came out of such tiny bodies.

Lily’s favorite part was coming up and Neil could tell by the smile that grew on her face.

_I can lead with pride. I can make us strong. I’ll be satisfied if I play along. But the voice inside sings a different song. What is wrong with me?_

She liked the rhythm was what she told Neil. Something about how the words were punctuated. Neil wasn’t much for singing, but he enjoyed most of the music Lily liked.

The applause was abundant when the song ended and Neil was excited to hear Lily’s solo. She practiced alone in her room most of the time, but she could still be heard throughout the house.

“Thank you and thank you Audrey!” Ms. Ellie said. “Our next song is Go the Distance from Hercules. Ms. Lily from first grade will be our opening soloist. During this piece, we have put together a slide show of pictures that say the kids’ goals or dreams that they’d like the accomplish. Please enjoy!”

Neil pressed against Andrew more as Lily stepped down and took her place in front of the mic. He was tenser then he’d been during her Exy games.

Ms. Ellie softly counted Lily in.

 

_I have often dreamed of a far off place where a hero’s welcome would be waiting for me._

_Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face and a voice keeps saying this is where I’m meant to be._

_I’ll be there some day. I can go the distance. I will find my way if I can’t be strong._

_I know every mile will be worth my while._

_I will go the distance and be right where I belong._

Neil’s eyes burned as Lily sang. He hadn’t listened to the words while she practiced. They meant more then he realized.

Andrew slid his palm against Neil’s until he laced their fingers together. He was pretty sure Andrew’s hand was shaking. Neil held tight to Andrew as he read through the images on the screen. None had been in Lily’s handwriting yet.

 

_It’s an uphill slope, but I won’t lose hope._

_I will go the distance til my journey is complete._

And then Neil saw it. All the images were anonymous, but Neil recognized the handwriting and what it sad wrenched at his heart. All her image said was “I wish I never will have to say goodbye”.

The rest of the song kind of faded into the background for Neil. He knew exactly how Lily felt. He felt as if he’d been rushed back to that time all those years ago when all he wanted to do was stay. How leaving Andrew had been the single worst day in his entire life. Worse than everything else that happened to him.

It was an odd feeling, Andrew pressing his fingers to Neil’s pulse. The song had ended and Ms. Ellie was talking again. Andrew gripped Neil’s wrist tight and his eyes bore into Neil in a familiar way that only Neil would recognize. He shifted in his seat, nodding to Andrew, as he took a calming breath. No one was saying goodbye.

 

The last song was a song Neil was familiar with. He couldn’t remember where he’d heard it first, but he’d heard it enough to know some of the words. Some of the kids in the choir strummed ukulele’s as they all sang about better days and peaceful places.

 

_And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true._

Lily looked so happy on stage singing that Neil wished he could freeze the moment for them all to remember. Someone was filming it, but that wasn’t even going to be enough to truly capture the moment.

Andrew had gone back to holding his hand as the song ended. They broke apart to applaud and the Elementary Choir even got a standing ovation.

As they filed off stage, Neil found himself anxiously waiting for the combined choirs so that he’d see Lily again.

“That was amazing!” Nicky said excitedly to Neil as the Middle School Choir took the stage.

“Yeah it was,” Neil said taking a deep breath. He felt, he couldn’t put it into words. There were too many emotions all at once. They were swirling inside of his like a storm.

Andrew standing up jolted Neil out of his thoughts. They made eye contact and then Andrew was walking towards the doors in the back of the auditorium. He had time until Lily was back onstage.

Part of Neil wanted to follow him, but part of him knew that he now had to start dividing his time between Andrew and Lily. He knew what Andrew was doing and he knew Andrew would be back. He didn’t know if Andrew was okay. But he knew Andrew could hold it together for the concert.

“Where’s he going?” Nicky whispered. Neil was still turned towards the doors.

“Probably to smoke. He’ll be back.”

“Mmm,” Nicky grunted as the lights turned on signaling the middle school choir was going to start.

And honestly, Neil zoned out for most of the middle school. They sang songs he recognized, but nothing stuck in his memory. He was too busy sorting through his emotions and the events of the rest of the evening. Even though it was winter, Lily wanted to get ice cream after the concert.

Andrew returned exactly as the middle school choir performance ended. He smelled like winter wind and fresh smoke. His cheeks and nose were red and his cold fingers found their way into Neil’s hand. Neil looked at him questioning, but Andrew only gave him a slight nod and squeezed Neil’s fingers.

“There are fifteen kids with the black sash things,” Dan called down the aisle to Neil. He looked up at the full stage. Lily was still in the front, and Dan was right. Neil shrugged.

“Now for our final portion of the concert, we will be singing a collection of songs the kids voted on,” Ms. Ellie explained. “After our first two selections, we will pause and have our Master Singers take the stage for a short performance. Then we will end it with a fun choice to leave everyone in a good mood! Our first song is The Walker originally by Fitz and the Tantrums. Our group had a lot of fun learning this one and it was definitely the favorite this semester!”

The song started and Neil only recognized it because he’d heard it coming from Lily’s room. The song had a lot of dance motions that were surprisingly in sync for such a large group. The audience was clapping along to the beat. Neil watched Lily smiling as she sang. He now recognized the moves she was doing, having seen her practicing in the house when she thought no one was watching.

“Our next song is very important to some of the students as it talks about bravery and facing your fears. I’ve talked to many kids individually about what this song means to them, so prepare for it to get a bit emotional. With the song Something Wild, we want the audience to think about the importance of home and whether it’s a person or a place, take the time to think about what it means to you. And for this song, eighth grader Annette Perry will accompany me on violin.”

Neil watched a tall girl come off the risers to stand by the piano. Home. All the people in the row in the auditorium were his home.

The little girl on the stage was his home.

Andrew was his home.

 

 _You've got a big heart_  
The way you see the world  
It got you this far  
You might have some bruises  
And a few of scars  
But you know you're gonna be okay

_And even though you're scared  
You're stronger than you know_

               Neil felt his breath catch in his throat as they sang. The way everything applied to him, to Lily, to Andrew… Neil could feel Andrew’s nails digging into his hand as the song continued. He didn’t look phased, but he’d never clung to Neil so tightly.

 

 _If you're lost out where the lights are blinding_  
Caught in all, the stars are hiding  
That's when something wild calls you home, home  
If you face the fear that keeps you frozen  
Chase the sky into the ocean  
That's when something wild calls you home, home

 

Home. For their little family, it was all about the people. The people who needed a place to belong had finally found it all those years ago in the broken Exy team. Every step had originally been a dream, temporary. A little bit of happiness in all the dark.

And yet here Neil was expanding his tiny family because the dream had never ended. It opened doors that Neil didn’t even know existed.

And now there was Lily. And all Neil wanted to do was stand up and scream that she was home.

 

 _Sometimes the past can_ __  
Make the ground beneath you feel like a quicksand  
You don't have to worry  
You reach for my hand  
Yeah I know you're gonna be okay  
You're gonna be okay

 

Neil took a steadying breath as the words sunk into him. It was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay. Everything bad was so far in the past that it barely registered anymore. Memories he thought were burned into him, faded. Happiness filled all the holes that were put into Neil.

The applause roared in Neil’s ears.

“I now invite our Master Singers to come to the front of the stage,” Ms. Ellie said. Neil watched Lily line up with fifteen other students. “Master Singers is a group of students who went through extensive auditions to earn one of fifteen spots. They practice during the occasional lunch recess. I always pick a very difficult song in another language for these kids to sing. It pushes them and is a great challenge. This year we’ve chosen the French song Caresse Sur L’Ocean made popular by the film Les Choristes or the Chorus. It’ll feature first grader, Miss Lily, as our soloist. She worked very hard to prepare it for a special pair of people in her life. Miss Lily is our youngest Master Choir soloist,” Ms. Ellie explained leaving Neil in shock.

All his friends looked shocked. Even Andrew looked something that could possibly be shock.

The song started with a slow melody and then the voices that came out of the fifteen students blew Neil away. Something rippled through the crowd. Something like amazement. Everyone in the room dazzled by fifteen singers.

And then Lily stepped forward.

The words melted out of her mouth. Rising and swelling as the music did. Hitting high note after high note. A song so beautiful that Neil felt his eyes burn.

 

_Caresse sur l'océan_

_Pose l'oiseau si leger_

_Sur la pierre d'une ile immergée_

_Air éphémère de l'hiver_

_Enfin ton souffle s'éloigne_

_Loin dans les montagnes_

 

Neil felt like he couldn’t breathe, but this time because he couldn’t believe what he’d just witnessed. Something so beautiful was done just for him and Andrew. She wasn’t asked or prompted, she had wanted to. And all Neil wanted to do was hear her sing it again.

As she hit the last note, the crowd exploded. Louder than any Exy game Neil had been to, the crowd was on its’ feet clapping and cheering as those fifteen kids gave a bow and Lily gave an extra one.

Their friends were all talking at once to Neil, but he could only look at Andrew who stood, eyes on the stage. He wasn’t clapping, but the emotion in his eyes shocked Neil all over again. Just like he had little looks for Neil, Andrew had special looks just for Lily.

It warmed Neil’s heart.

“Thank you! Thank you!” Ms. Ellie said when the crowd finally calmed. “We have a fun final piece to send you all off in a good mood and that’s I Won’t Let You Down by OK Go!”

 

Neil’s hand found Andrew’s again as the music started and the kids began clapping. It was an upbeat song that made Neil smile. Andrew had gone back to looking indifferent, but still held Neil’s hand tightly. Bringing Lily into their lives had truly been the smartest decision they’d ever made.

 

_Maybe all you need is someone to trust_

_Maybe all you need is someone_

_And I won’t let you down_

_Oh I won’t let you down_

_I won’t let you down, my love_

Neil felt as if everything was falling into place once again. They were growing and changing into the people they’d always had the potential of being.

And soon those two people would be three.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


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